Aching Muscles: Day Two no iStuff

This morning I was awakened by the semi-whispering voice of my third child "Dad, can you ask Mom if we can have our iThings back yet?" To which Dad sleepily (and cowardly) responded "I'll ask her when she wakes up."  I lay quietly for a few more minutes knowing that if some of them were up, one of us had to be as well.  With no further indication that Geoff was intending to do so, I got up.  And my muscles ache.

I can't help but play at the park with the kids.  This might be weird - in fact, from my experience with parents at the park, apparently it is quite weird.  I get up on the equipment.  There are a few slides that are strangely shaped and I no longer snake in the same way the kids do, but I haven't hurt myself too badly since I figured out that there are some things I cannot do. 

When we play tag at the park, I have realized the dangers to someone of my height and inflexibility; through experience, a few bumps and bruises but no broken bones.  I cannot easily fit under the equipment without the risk of bashing my head.  Since I don't want to do that, ever, I don't go under it without a great deal of consideration. "Great deal of consideration" and "tag" are contradictory.  Therefore the answer is, in the words of Tow Mater, "to not to". 

This gives the little ... angels, quite an advantage over me even though I used to run track (back in junior high but I have this memory of being fast and so I figure I still am, or can be).   The only thing that scares me, aside from breaking bones on equipment that is not meant for a person of my size, is falling on this nasty new gravel that has replaced the sand of my own park days.


My preferred form of exercise.  By the look of this, you'd
think my arm muscles would be flexible enough...


Taking due precautions I find I cannot help but play.  My aching muscles have little to do with tag though.  Today they are due to my outrageous urge to do cartwheels.  A single cartwheel appears to stretch out muscles clear along one side of your body, from neck to calf.  I did them from both sides so as not to be unfair to my suddenly stretched out right side. Then I went on the 'monkey bars' (I have no clue if these are called something else in adult-speak). Not only did I get on the wretched things, but I stopped and pulled my body up two or three times (three could be an exaggeration) - just to see if I could. 

To anyone who has taken the time to maintain this flexibility or strength, this might sound ridiculously lame.  To the rest of the parents out there who watch their children play and run and climb on the equipment, you probably think I'm insane.  You're both right.  I feel like I should have taken care to keep myself in shape and the idea of using the park to test what parts of my body still work without an educated and knowledgeable personal trainer seems irresponsible.  But I can't help it.  And since I've been out there, doing this, my kids expect me to continue.

So here is a fair warning: if you want to be able to play without pain, you will need to take some precautions. I think it's called regular exercise (however I know a mother who does the exercise thing and when we were talking about my aches and pains from the monkey bars she looked at me funny and said "you actually got up there?"... but maybe she was just picturing my elongated body stiffly and awkwardly being hauled across the park; hadn't considered that one).  Or, if you cannot partake in the same enjoyment, perhaps you should just stay on the sidelines; it only takes one moment of insanity (doing it) to make you feel like a total ass (if you don't) when they ask the next time. 

Summer Vacay Day One - No iStuff

Day one without iThings is going well enough. I'm only marginally on board because so far as I'm concerned, this is me working.  We've seen some minor scrapping between the five of them but nothing I would consider out of the ordinary. 

We have played tag, the kids and Aunty Megan played in the kiddie pool, they jumped on the trampoline and we went grocery shopping. Really, a typical day. They've only asked for their iThings about four times.  We've been keeping them busy. 

The greatest part of this whole thing is the laughter.  Sometimes I laugh at stuff I see on the Internet but mostly I smirk. When the kids are playing their iThings, you don't hear a sound. Not that it's a bad thing, sometimes, but when there's five kids in the house, I dont think it should ever be quiet before 10pm (summer holiday time of course). 

And we are tired. They don't look all that tired. We adults have taken many more breaks than the kids have (at least I think that's what's going on- maybe they've been breaking off here and there, who knows? There's five of them and only three of us).  As I stretched out my legs and arms by doing some cartwheels (doesn't everyone?) I thought "wouldn't it be great if this didn't hurt by the end of summer?"

I did the math: for the past four years, with some bike riding and tag and walks (but not all that much in the grand scheme of things where it is winter for like 8 months of the year) my daily routine included sitting (driving), sitting (class time) and sitting (studying).  I am out of shape- even with four very active children.  So this will either whip me into shape or kill me. Today I'm hoping for the former. Check back next week. 

It's Not All Fun and Games

I'm not sure if I've mentioned that I have a blended family, a true yours, mine and ours scenario.  Long story short, I had two, he had one, and together we had two more.  Mine see their father every other weekend and whatever additional time we agree upon. Geoff only sees his daughter once a year because they moved to New Brunswick a few years ago and now the weekend visitation is rather inconvenient.  We're all together now though for the next week and a half.



Credit: Wallpoper.com



Ethan is a normally kind, caring, sensitive individual whose random hugs are both welcome and frequent.  He can brighten any moment with one of those hugs and a quick "I love you".  This description is free of embellishment so keep that wonderful thought in mind when I say that when he is mad, he is really, really mad. 

Because I have designated this the Summer of Pretend, I have had to restrict their beloved Minecraft play time.  Since Geoff is also on holidays and we are all together, we are doing a lot of family play time as well.  Yesterday we decided to head to the park.  It was hot out but we were geared up for some tag.  Some of us were anyway.  We readied ourselves and headed out.  I either forgot to do a head count or forgot Leilah was extra and we headed up the street sans Ethan (What? It happens; haven't you seen Home Alone?)

So after we arrived at the park, I turned to see Geoff heading back towards the house and was informed we'd forgotten Ethan.  Well they returned to the park and Ethan was in a huff.  At these times I often hear it's all Geoff's fault, he's mean, he's whatever.  Ethan wouldn't play.  Geoff suggested ice cream, a few blocks away, everyone was on board except Ethan.  He ran ahead and hid along the way, not entirely exasperating as he, Aaron and I were ahead of everyone else. Still. 

We got our ice cream and Ethan refused to order anything.  By this time, I'm getting a little grumpy myself as well and trying to hang onto the pleasant mood we began with for the rest of the non-grumpy kids.  The Farmer's Market was on and since we'd passed it on the way to ice cream we decided to see what they had on the way back.  Ethan, further incensed, continued to complain.  Dealing with this, we then we realized Hunter was missing. We ran to the end of the strip mall and I saw Hunter around the corner at the furthest end of that side.  Geoff caught up to him.  

"What kind of person loses their baby?" Ethan nastily commented after he'd made his way to where we were. This was the moment I voiced my absolute displeasure with Ethan's behaviour.  I've been careful when I'm telling them what they're doing is wrong or inappropriate because at some time in my past I heard that it was best to focus on the behaviour rather than the child.  It makes sense but you have to explain a lot.  And that was beyond acceptable grumpiness considering it was because we were so focused on Ethan that Hunter was able to bound away on his own. 

I'm not sure if Ethan just can't hang onto anger for long periods of time - this whole experience was only about an hour - or if his curious mind got the better of him while we waited for a watering truck to pass by on a road that is being repaved and he asked why it was watering the road.  Notice I don't think it had anything to do with my reproval of his behaviour.  In any case, the cloud lifted and Ethan was shortly himself again.

Considering I recently wrote that I don't like to commemorate the bad times, I find myself wondering if I should continue with this segment.  I'm not the embellishing sort and although good times can replace the bad, or at least diminish their place in our memories, these moments of Ethan's are difficult to deal with precisely because they are so uncommon and are therefore particularly disturbing.  Sure we work through them, whenever they arise, and maybe that is the point.  Certainly it is more enjoyable to write about the good times but we aren't perfect and I find the truth is more enjoyable than any creative fiction.

I had a different ending for this but as I went to refresh my coffee I discovered Ethan had awoken (when I turned in to the bathroom which was dark and the door ajar and found him in a semi-compromising position). "Oh! Good morning" I laughed and backed away.  He exited and gave me a hug. "Mom, how many hugs do you think we've had, ever?" he asked. "How many hugs?" I repeated  "I'm not sure. A lot." He smiled, "So far." Yep. So far.  And yesterday is but a memory while today is awaiting the creation of new ones. I guess I just hadn't enjoyed the reminder yet. 

I'm No Psychologist, But...

While Ocean and Aaron are fairly social beings, Ethan is more comfortable being home.  Not that he doesn't like to be out with his friends, because he does, but he is less likely to seek outside entertainment.  We've played the "would you rather" game on occasion.  One thing that was incredibly insightful about going back to school when you already have children is how consistently and readily applicable psychology courses are.  Although it wasn't my major or minor, I wished I'd been able to fit in a few more.



 The "would you rather" game consists of asking someone to think about which choice they would make out of only two options.  This game is not only a good indicator of how that person will react to the given situation but also offers the opportunity to the person asking the question and the one answering,  to change the possible outcome. It also allows you to observe values that your children have or are creating for themselves. One particularly interesting conversation went like this:
     Me: Here's the situation: You have two choices.  There are a group of people who are willing to be your friends, sort of, but they don't treat you very well. Your options are that you either hang out with these people even though they don't seem to care what is best for you, or you have no friends at all. Would you be friends with people who didn't treat you well?    
     O: Hmm, I wouldn't have any other friends?
     E: I wouldn't be friends with them because I have a sister and two brothers at home.
     A: Same as Ethan.

Needless to say, Ocean's answer was most concerning.  Of course there are other factors at play in their answers.  First, Ocean has a step-sister but only sees her once a year and there's not much of a relationship present for the rest of the time; she only has brothers at home for peer companionship.  Second, we had recently moved so she had yet to meet anyone in the new school (which was why we were playing of course).  What I got from this conversation was a heads up. 

When I was still in school, things were a little hectic around the house (probably an understatement but we made it through).  When we moved, I was about to enter my fourth and final year.  I had lived a pretty wicked balancing act up until that point with family/work/school.  This discussion made me incredibly aware of how much Ocean was going to rely on me during what could be a difficult transition and I made sure I was available and that I asked questions. 



So many directions and choices



She had some rocky moments in the last year and sometimes she cried and just wanted to see her friends from home.  I had taken a social psychology course and one of the things we did was a community service project where we attempted to help children think about friendship values. I'd chosen this assignment so I could help my kids make good choices even though I didn't realize at the time I was going to need it so soon.  One thing we learned was that keeping up the connections with old friends would help.  We made sure we had phone numbers and addresses before we left and we are also able to visit because Grandma and Grandpa still live there which makes it easier.

I talked with Ocean every night before bed one on one.  We did that with all of the kids at dinner time ("table talk" assignment) and the one on one was for deeper discussion.  It could have been time consuming since I have four, but Hunter was little and Ethan and Aaron were not having troubles.   One night she told me that I always helped make her feel better.  That was not only amazing, it was a relief.  I made myself available to her when she needed it and it opened up communication between us. 

Today is the last day of school and Ocean is ending the year with a good friend.  It was a process of trial and error and putting herself out there but she was successful and I like to think I made the interim easier for her. Communication with our children is key.  The greatest obstacle I think I face as a parent of growing children is knowing how to help them with their daily dealings; if I don't know, I can't help.  The "would you rather" game and also the "what if" game (where a randomly chosen situation arises, without given answers and everyone, including me gets to tell how they would solve such a problem) are great ways to talk and learn about each other.  It is also a great way to ensure our values are truly being utilized by our children. Tune in at a later date for the discussion about internet porn.  I'm so not kidding.

Why Won't You Play With Your Toys?!

As I removed an empty glass olive jar from Hunter's arm today I pointed out some nearby cars and galactic figurines, asking him to play with those instead.  I replaced said jar in the recycling bin and turned to see he had found a dusting brush thing.  "Is that a better toy?" I asked half-heartedly as he bounded across the grass only to stop in fighting stance and began swingng his now mighty sword at (I presume) giant ants (because we fight those most of the time).  Obviously the answer would be yes.

Most parents have toys available, some more than others.  When Ocean was little she would not play with toys preferring instead to play with my plastics.  So when Ethan came along, I didn't buy any new toys.  They played with what little they had and tupperware.  I thought I was in the know.  By the time Aaron came along, Ethan had established quite the collection of toys so Aaron had access to a much greater assortment than Ethan once did.

One of Aaron's first words was "car".  He was obsessed with them.  It was comical to see his little face light up in a parking lot.  His little arm would be waving, he eyes wide as he looked this way and that, excitedly breathless as he pointed all around "Car! Car! Car!" By the age of 18 months, he could distinguish between an Olds Alero and a Chrysler Sebring because one was Grandma's and the other was Aunty's.  I could barely tell the difference.  Still.

Now Hunter has access to an array of toys because he has two older brothers.  They have costumes, lego, tool benches, cars and related items, books, figurines, trains, etc etc.  And he plays with recycling.  But is that really such a bad thing?  Although Aaron took to the cars like a duck to water, that was something he was obviously interested in.  Perhaps in the real ones more than the toys.  Maybe we just didn't notice because he had all those little ones too.

At first, while I lamented the $50 I spent on a Winnie the Pooh push toy for Ocean, I did think it was a bad thing.  Not entirely that she wouldn't even look at it, let alone play with it rather that I'd spent the money on something I thought she would like and she did not.  The tupperware lids and containers gave her hours upon hours of entertainment.  They had no sharp edges, didn't make noise unless she wanted them to, they could stack up, fall down, they were quiet even!  

And as I am enjoying so much of the time that Hunter and I get to play pretend, with or without props, I'm thinking that this is so much more fun ... and charmingly inexpensive.  Everyone else in the house has either an iPod, iPhone or iPad.  We're all addicted to the darn things because they're just so neat  (I hope I didn't just make Steve Jobs roll over in his grave).  Hunter looks at what we're doing sometimes and walks away.  He's not interested. 

There's a reason the little ones would rather play pretend. He doesn't often ask anyone to play cars with him because he can do that all by himself.  But he does want help fighting bad guys. When you play pretend, you want for nothing but a friend to share it with because you have everything else you can think of.  And it's fun.  I have hereby decided that this shall be Summer of Pretend at my house.  Once they get over the shock, I think they'll enjoy it a lot :)

Little Things That Make Your Day

Last night, after we had played at the park, thrown rocks in the pond, played a scavenger hunt as we walked to the ice cream store, ordered, paid and were walking back to the park with our ice creams, Hunter says to me "Mom, you're my best friend".  And with a lump in my throat I told him he was my best friend too.

I remember reading or hearing something one day about how people in the future would look at our pictures and think we were an incredibly happy population.  Because we keep the pictures where people look happy and discard the ones where they don't.  We take pictures at birthday parties and weddings, but not at funerals or when someone is super sick in the hospital.  Yes, it makes sense to do it that way of course; some memories you want to keep.

But even I notice that I do what I can to erase those moments when Hunter has said "I hate Mom." And I know he gets it from his older siblings and they tend to say things like "I hate it here" or "I hate going to school".  And they got it from me when I would say "I hate these messes".  I don't commemorate those moments either.  Not many people do.

But the point is, we all have them.  We all have those moments or those days/weeks/months/years that didn't seem to go our way.  Or if you haven't ever had one, you might.  When Hunter told me I was his best friend, I wasn't thinking about the day he was really mad at me.  Or the next day he would be.  At that precise moment, everything was perfect. 

Today, when I was really busy and Hunter asked me to take him to the park, I remembered that right now, he thinks I am his best friend.  Of course, I'm still his mom too but I took him to the park.  And I chased him the way he likes to be chased and it only took forty minutes out of my day.  He didn't tell me again that I was his best friend, and maybe he never will, but I will always remember the day he did.  And maybe one day, when I ask him to help clean up, he'll remember that I told him he was my best friend too.  Fingers crossed.

What the Recent Flooding Means - in the News

Ah, deduction.  I've been reading a few pieces since the Calgary and High River floodings and I can say that there is some concern for the future.  But let's start with the present.  Homes in Canada do not have flood insurance.  They have insurance for water that backs up from the ground into their basements but not for water that comes into their homes through doorways or windows - otherwise known as "overland flooding".  However, with the rise in property claims against flood damage, there has been a need to make changes in the coverage insurance companies offer.

Now if you happen to be American, or exposed to American politics, you might have heard a few Republicans claim that climate change is a myth (I chose three separate links randomly, feel free to Google for many, many more).  Here in Southern Alberta I have wondered for the past five years if we were, in fact, experiencing some climate changes.  The majority of this area is typically dry, understated yellow-brown fields dotted with a few trees. 

Four years ago I was camping out in Drumheller (where the Royal Tyrell Museum - dinosaur bones and one heck of a history lesson- is). Drumheller is usually just as brown and dry as the rest of the Southern AB but that summer it was green.  It was captivating to me because I had been there many times in my life.  It was beautiful.  Lush.  Strange.  I thought we had simply been getting a lot of rain.  But that has been happening each year.  It's starting to look a little like Ireland out here with rolling green hills rather than brown ones.  That's new.

And I am not talking about global warming, which is strictly the increase in temperatures, but a literal change in the climate.  That would be a normally dry, brown, water hungry area turning to lush greenery with frequent rain.  I cannot attest to the actual pattern in temperature change without more research but it sure hasn't felt all that warm here in the summers even though the winters have had their moments.  And that is not the point of this segment.

Now some people are claiming that the recent flooding has caused irreversible changes to the Rocky Mountains.  The flooding, of course, is seen as a result of climate change.  It was referred to as "Pacific Coast weather" here in Alberta.  And herein lies the future problem.  If it is determined that we are indeed experiencing major climate change in Alberta (determined obviously by someone who has the credentials to say so which means that my mere observations although correct, are unscientific) then many homes will become uninsurable. 

In particular, those usually coveted, generally expensive pieces of property with river banks attached to them will be "at your own risk" as no insurance will be available for either the home or its contents in case of water damage.  I'm not entirely certain how the rest of the insurance would work for fire and so on, but the term used in the last linked item was "uninsurable".  Plus you will see a major increase in infrastructure costs as cities or towns with water access have to restructure their current structures against future flooding.  This is not an easy task, nor is it cheap.  We're talking billions of dollars more than the billion plus it will take to fix what just happened last week.  Yeesh.

I usually like to have a thread of optimism in these segments because I prefer to solve problems rather than just dwell on them.  I'm not stumped but this is a big one.  Okay, wait, maybe it's not.  Alberta's carbon footprint is much higher than any other province.  We know this but haven't done anything about it.  There are ways.  We need to go green.  Or pay for it now and again and again and again.  Wake up Redford, Alberta is in trouble.

Alberta Floods - Good News and Bad News



Photo: National Post



The whole thing has been kind of surreal.  You see these videos online or on the news of a city or town with nothing but waterways because their roads are completely covered.  If the water has receded, like Cougar Creek in Canmore, you see a highway that is utterly impassable.  The Trans-Canada highway - it's kind of a big deal.  But there has been good news. 

For starters, the Canadian Red Cross took in 2.1 million dollars in donations in 48 hours.  That's pretty cool, Canada.  Though we're probably not the only ones who donated and I'm thankful that everyone who did... did.  We've had thousands of volunteers.  Already.  The Sled Island concert was cancelled but bands were invited to private homes; and they showed up.  Twitter was going nuts with party invites.  Restaurants invited those in need for free dinners.  It was something special.

But there has also been bad news.  MACLEANS reported Alberta Health Services shut down two restaurants in Calgary who were offering free lunches on Monday - because the BBQ's did not have appropriate canopy coverage.  Mayor Nenshi had to ask people to stay off the Bow River.  Even though he made the request in a sardonically comical way, it was still bad news.



Highway 1 near Canmore, AB; Photo Courtesy Elliott.C.S



However, there has been more good news.  The Calgary Stampede has a new slogan: Come Hell or High Water.  Volunteers are arriving daily from all over Canada to lend a hand.  Road repair is already underway in Canmore.  Facebook is alive with links to pages that can tell you where to help out and what help is needed. 

It is inspiring to see how many people have come from near and far to lend a hand to people in need.  And those are just the ones who have Facebook and Twitter.  I'm certain there are many other small or large acts of kindness out there with little to no public acknowledgement.  Disasterous events are devastating but they bring people together.  Rebuilding communities brings people closer together and in turn builds stronger communities.  I'm glad to be part of that.

The Next Time You're Pub-Hopping in Saskatoon...

I spent the weekend in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.  Had I realized at the time that I would write about it, I would have known to take some photographs. Instead, I will see what I can find and try to give you a feel for some pub-hopping adventures if, like us, you find yourself unexpectedly heading for a weekend in this beautiful and history-laden city.

Ironically, for this segment, Saskatoon was originally settled by a Temperance colony from Ontario in 1881.  The Temperance values stemmed from the belief that alcohol was the root of societal ills and therefore the original settlement was alcohol-free.  Although the area was previously populated, as most of Canada was, it was not until 1890 that it was incorporated as a village. The city now boasts a population of more than 239,000 and its English roots are apparent.  



Photo Courtesy of www.winstonpub.ca



Our first stop was at Winston's English Pub in the Senator Hotel.  Winston's is a gorgeous room featuring heavy woodwork and brick.  On a Friday night, the place was hopping.  We were lucky enough to find a small table with four wing backed chairs.  The atmosphere was much more modern than the character and the blaring music was less enjoyable than a pub din would have been.  The service was great though and the menu was varied.  Unfortunately it took one of us two orders to find something in stock but the tap was flowing and my Heineken arrived first. 

The next day we headed across the river to Broadway.  We were welcomed first at The Hose and Hydrant, a converted fire station.  I say "welcomed" because a patron actually drew our attention to it.  We had parked just outside of it but hadn't noticed it might be a pub because it still looks exactly like a fire station.  We entered into the expansive room and headed up the grand stairway to the second floor which led out to a large and beautifully finished patio with seating for over 50 comfortably.  Here we tried our first 'brewed in Saskatoon' selection, Original 16.  Canadian pale, it was extremely tasty in the warm sunshine. The service was impeccable here as we were treated to a hospitable description of local beers for the newly arrived.



Photo courtesy of www.midwestgroup.ca


We made another stop that afternoon at the Yard and Flagon.  Again we enjoyed great service, this time in a small but charming pub.  The room was long and narrow but we were lucky enough to get a window seat facing Broadway.  The local brew was again the top pick and we were able to avoid the sudden torrential downpour outside. 

Later that night, our first stop was Lydias.  Again in a converted building that was once a warehouse, the exterior is more appealing than the main level interior.  With a long bar and very little seating, it lacked the charm of the other places we had been.  Of course, that could have been intensified by the extremely poor service offered by the bartender.  While we asked again about the local offerings, we were told haphazardly about our choices and eventually to "just pick a F-ing drink".  Welcoming was not the order of the evening.  There was a live band as well but the place didn't offer much in the way of excitement and we left quickly, heading back to the Hose and Hydrant which was now fully staffed with bouncers and absolutely packed with seemingly satisfied and good-natured patrons.

The third floor was for dancing and as that's what our plan was for the night, we headed up and were stifled by the heat.  The first thing to note about our drinks here was that they definitely contained alcohol.  Maybe it's because I hardly ever partake in shooters any more, but even the roaming shooter tray had alcohol in it and that is something I certainly haven't found in Alberta.  The music was dance-mix-techno and loud but my sister wasn't enjoying the myriad.  The dancefloor was so crowded and without a side bar to place our things, we couldn't stray from our stool piled with jackets and purses.  
We took a breather downstairs to decide where we should go next and the girl with the shooter tray provided fabulous assistance.  We told her what we were looking for and her suggestion was Jax downtown.  It sounded perfect so we thanked her by buying some impressive shots and hailed a cab.

Jax was only a couple of blocks from the Hilton Garden Inn so it seemed like the perfect spot to end our evening.  Security was tight and we had to "stand on the X and look into the camera" but it was a spacious club with a large dancefloor and a slightly tropical theme, and they were playing an old-school mix of music in which you were able to enjoy a single song in its entirety.  We were able to dance the rest of the night away among an eclectic mix of clientele.

Of course being out on a weekend usually assures patrons of a lively ensemble wherever you go, there was something in particular that stood out about our adventures in Saskatoon.  Appreciatively, there are beautiful women everywhere so if that's something you want to see, I highly suggest you make the trip.  To be fair, the women could appear more beautiful simply because I didn't see any men at the same level of attractiveness.  In Alberta, it seems to me that you might see a random pairing of beauty and the below average, but in Saskatoon it appeared to be the norm. 

If you are a woman in your thirties, below average height and on the prowl, there appears to be a few Irishmen in the area who are looking for some more options, but otherwise I don't think this would be the place for you as there is extraordinary competition for attention and I'm not sure if the successful beauty would be happy with the lot. If you are not single but looking for an evening of fun with some girlfriends without the worry of being constantly bombarded with unwanted male attention, as I said, the competition is stiff so you can get by without it easily enough. If you are looking for a place with some rich history, great beer and pleasant atmosphere, this is a highly recommended destination.

 

Waking Up in Saskatchewan

Yesterday we bypassed the devastation in Southern Alberta with a dream of being in the sunshine and no risk of being swept away by flood waters.  This escape was under the guise of partaking in a memorable get-together with friends in honour of my sister; the Stagette.  Although we left with joy and anticipation of our weekend ahead, there is some lingering guilt which has yet to be addressed.  Think of today’s segment as an attempt to atone for sins.

Well that probably makes it sound like this will be a juicy little piece, but allow me to dissuade you of that thought.  I feel bad about leaving.  Of course, we left at a time when the police were asking people to stay away from Southern Alberta.  Stay off the roads and away from the affected areas; stay safe.  That should help with the guilt but this is the first weekend I have “booked off” – ever.  Should I have stayed to try to help?  The kids were all taken care of.  I could have spent the weekend in some sort of volunteer position trying to do my part. 

Even as I write this, there is a little voice inside my head that screams “are you F-ing kidding me?!”  I tend to listen to that voice – sometimes.  It always pipes up when I am second-guessing myself; my conscience.  It has the ferocity of my mother, the concern of Nana, the logic of my sister, and my own sometimes doubt-ridden inner voice.  This is how I think about decisions I’ve made.  Perhaps if I could find this voice prior to making decisions I would be better equipped to deal with it.

There is probably less guilt about leaving as there is wondering if I shouldn’t be enjoying myself.  We stayed up until two.  We had drinks, we laughed, we hung out and enjoyed one another’s company.  When the front desk agent asked about the situation in Calgary we affirmed it was awful.  The giant screen TV at the pub showed updates of the water-logged city.  Reminders were everywhere.  I think the worst part of this is that I know one person can make a difference.  And I feel bad that I’m not doing anything.  However I would also feel bad if I had told my sister that I could not partake in her event as well – but probably not as much.  Why is that?

Is it my soci(ological) conscience?  Doing for others is a greater gift than doing for those you love?  Well that seems silly.  Is it because a weekend party seems trite in light of the events?  Perhaps.  Of course these things are not on the same level.  People have lost homes.  Literally, homes swept down a river.  I would love to make myself feel better about this but I know that even if I was at home right now, I would be busy with other things.  Saddened by the losses so many people have had and losses people are not even yet aware of, but I would be getting snacks or cleaning a toilet or trying to find something other than laundry to do.

Does it make me feel better to know that I wouldn’t be doing anything there either?  Not really.  But it is realistic.  The point would be that if I wouldn’t feel guilty about not helping out while I was right there, then why should I feel guilty about being here?   Well the answer is obvious – I shouldn’t.  I am a thinker, not as much of a doer.  This should not be a source of shame.  In fact, there are other ways I will end up helping out.  I will clean out the closets.  People are going to be in need of everything including the kitchen sink.  Those taking donations will be making their intentions clear over the coming days.  I will pack it all up and bring some much needed items to help those families. There will be a need for children’s clothes and adult clothes of all sizes. 

Maybe that is the real benefit of a guilty conscience. Making you think about what you can do.  Now that I have discovered this, I know that it was all I could have done in the first place.  But now I have a plan and it has assuaged my guilt.  Just in time too.  I have some girl time to get to.  Everyone really can do something.  We just have to realize how debilitating certain emotions are and accept that though not we cannot always do everything, there are always ways to do something. Get thinking.

Shout Out to the Girls

We moms know that many days need more hours to complete everything we should/need/want to get done.  I remember reading a joke, I think it was a joke, Dear Abby wannabe letter that was all, "my friend has kids and she always says she's so busy but what does she honestly have to do?" (summarized and paraphrased of course).  We moms know we're busy.  But how often do we think about those without children who are also incredibly busy? 

I have a friend who has stunned me for years.  She is a fitness fanatic (maybe not really a fanatic, but to me she is because she works out at least once a day).  She was constantly giving her time - a volunteer basketball coach, a full-time student, volunteer member of a very busy charitable organization and now a chapter president as well and probably one of the only people I know who was so readily available to others throughout this.  Her schedule is so full if she calls to say she's on her way through, you jump at the opportunity to see her because it might not come up again for months!

My sister is someone else who is extremely busy.  I actually don't know everything she spends her time doing, but I do know that she's hard to catch.  She's travelled the world.  She's worked her ass off to afford that too.  She's learning to be a farmer.  She's also one of those people who call others up when she's on her way through and makes plans to see them.  She's a great friend and a great sister.  I'm lucky.

I remember talking with a fellow sociology student at RDC.  We were chatting about the things I was doing, personally, to be a student as well and she said "You know what it is?  We find a way and we make it work because we're women."  She was in university at the same time as her youngest child. 

Women are amazing creatures.  We are capable of so much.  Don't get me wrong, it's not like this is a male-bashing session.  I'm just reminding us that women do incredible things, just to get by in a day.  And they go to bed and get up in the morning and do it all over again.  Sure sometimes we complain, most of the time we don't.  So remember those women in your life, parents or not, and that they are amazing.  Or encourage them to be so because they can.  I am proud to say I know many who have been.

It's Over, Rain, I'd Like to Move On

Dear Rain,

When you whisked into my life last week, I was thrilled - you were so different, so romantic.. so cool.  There was something about you that I couldn't get enough of.  I was ecstatic when you would arrive, so suddenly in mid-morning; it was unexpected and I took to you like a desperate lawn.

 And it wasn't just you, Rain.  You had these other incredibly toxic elements with you.  That booming voice would send shivers down my spine and the howling wind was captivating.  Your complete cloud cover that made daytime power use necessary was strangely appealing.  And when your lightening crackled through the sky, my heart would race.  

 But something has changed.  Where first you were new and exciting, you have become drab and boring. Without your thundering voice, the howling is just annoying.  At first, the prospect of not having to shave my legs was a relief but now it's become just one more thing you aren't doing for me.  I thought I would enjoy wearing winter clothes for a while longer but that too, has lost it's thrill.

I know this is sudden, but I cannot help myself.  I was thinking of Sun again last night.  I fear I made a mistake and I'm going to do whatever it takes to get Sun back.  I know this may be out of my hands, but I'm going to try.  I don't regret all of the time we've spent together Rain, I am not trying to be cruel, I just think it's time to end this insanity. 

The time has come to say goodbye.  I have been dreaming of Sun again.  When I saw you instead this morning I realized how much I've missed Sun and I am aching to see Sun again.  It may seem fickle, I know, because I was thinking of you the same way, but the heart wants what the heart wants.  And I am slightly vitamin D deficient as well so...

This must end between us, Rain.  At least for a little while.  I need some space.  I think I would like to give Sun another try.  I'm just praying that Sun will forgive me. 

Sincerely,

Me, on behalf of at least

Half the Province

Truth, Conspiracy Theory, Scandal or All of the Above

I'm neither overly trusting nor distrustful of the media.  I suppose that every story written must be representative of three things: interest in the topic, observation bias and interpretation.  Having been required to write about topics in the past that held little to no interest for me, I have to say that upon finishing such an assignment I had made it interesting (at least to me).  So it is my humble opinion that writers of even assigned topics can find a way to ignite the passion they have for writing.

Observation bias can be considered an insult.  Especially when the writer is trying to present a topic in a neutral way so that the reader can decide for him or her self what seems right/best/etc.  Observation bias exists in the most mundane of interactions so I hardly find it difficult to imagine it exists in situations that matter.  For instance, the other day my daughter asked me to make her some hot chocolate.  I opened the cupboard, moved stuff around, looked up and down the shelves, closed the door and declared that the hot chocolate was nowhere to be found.  Unfortunate too because it was the box of Chocolate bar mix with Coffee Crisp and Rolo flavours. In fact, check out my cupboard and you will see, the chocolate bar mix hot chocolate is not there - same as that day I looked for it. By the way, that is like an "extra" cupboard for the "extra" stuff I can't fit in the amazingly organized ones...

However, you may have noticed that there is in fact some hot chocolate in the cupboard.  Again, same as the day I looked for it.  But I could not see it.  The reason I could not see it is because I wasn't looking for it.  The picture in my head was that of a red box.  I was looking for the Coffee Crisp logo and the Rolo logo. Once faced with the proposition of being denied her request, my daughter perched herself on the counter, opened the cupboard and said "This hot chocolate?" as she plucked it out and held it in her hand.  She recalled what I did not; that I had decided in favour of the can over the individual packets.  I expect this example is familiar and all I intend by using it is to support my point: when you are looking for one thing, you can completely avoid seeing what is directly in front of you.

The third thing I think stories (reports, observations, sightings etc) of events entail is the interpretation of an observation.  Have you ever seen the movie Vantage Point?  There's like six or more stories of different parts of an event that, once put together, enables a team to figure out the whole of what is going on - like a jigsaw puzzle.  Each piece can only tell you so much but once you get them all together you see a big picture - metaphorically and literally turns into a big picture.  This is why I dislike when I get the same news source over and over.  There is no differentiation in the vantage point, so how am I to decide if it is true?

This is on my mind of course because of Ed Snowden (and a recent disagreement about it with a man we'll call Joe). Google Snowden if you have nothing but time on your hands (I wasn't going to choose a link but then decided I must - spoiler alert: it's the apres-Googled page).  Now here is the beginning of your journey to enlightenment! Wait, back and forth, back and forth - hold on a moment, I need a Gravol, please. 

I have yet to make a decision about Snowden's story.  The reason for this is detailed in my assumption that the above mentioned three characteristics are apparent in everything we read, hear or even understand.  And we are subject to them as well as we read, listen and process information.  That is our gift as thinking beings.  Do I honestly believe that the government is spying on its citizens? Sure.  Am I worried about it? Not personally... not really... depends.  And depend it does, on a whole host of other considerations that would turn this into a (possibly) short novel.  My point is that Socrates was cryptically correct when he said that the more knowledge he acquired, he realized he actually knew less. And I feel the same way after trying to learn about Snowden. 

Did You Know...?

  Aaron and Hunter have a rich Aboriginal heritage.  Not that you could tell this by looking at them.  Aaron, with his blond hair and blue eyes looks about as Aboriginal as any blue eyed blond does.  The family is an anomoly, I commonly said, prior to the breadth requirement of university level biology - and I guess I just admitted it wasn't a useless course after all!

Great Grandma is one quarter Metis.  Her mother was full Metis.  Great Grandpa is french, with blue eyes and a full head of white hair that was once blond.  Grandpa took after his mom and has native colouring.  Grandma is of Scottish descent, blue eyes and once strawberry-blond-ish hair.  Each of their children have blue eyes, as do all of the grand children.  Knowing that blue eyes are recessive I found this incredibly strange. 

The bio course helped put some of the pieces together.  Recessive genes are always there, but once they come out, they effectually become dominant.  Here's why.  Grandpa, because his mother had brown eyes and his father had blue, had both of the genes.  Grandma, who had blue eyes, only has the dual recessive gene.  In a way, it was luck that each of their three children were blue-eyed.  If you have blue eyes, you no longer carry the gene for brown.  It is no longer available, so to speak.

Anyone who still has their class pictures from when they were young (providing this is along my own time line) can compare the number of brown-eyed children in their classes to the number in their children's classes today.  I noticed this immediately when I saw my kids' pictures.  When I was in kindergarten and up, there were only a few people with blue eyes.  They were special.  My daughter is the only one who ended up with brown eyes.  She is special now because there have only been a couple of children in her class with brown eyes.  The average now is blue. 

I caught an interesting documentary on NOVA a few weeks ago (could be months, could be days, I'm not that good anymore with "how long ago?" scenarios).  It has been commonly believed that Neanderthals somehow became extinct and Homosapiens survived.  However, scientists have managed, thanks to the decoding of the human genome, to also decode Neanderthal DNA and guess what they found?  Neanderthal DNA is still present today, most prominently (if around 10% is prominent) in those of European descent but also in those who come from other regions, to a lesser degree.

What this means is that Neanderthals were not, as previously thought, a weaker species that became extinct because they could not survive but that their genes were bred out.  Not all of them.  Apparently one of the genes we all still carry from Neanderthanls is instrumental (read: absolutely necessary) for language.  It was stronger than whatever Homosapiens had.  Our physical characteristics, head shape, leaner rather than stocky bodies were better suited for survival and so those particular characteristics became dominant.  This discovery has also determined that it is not the case, as was previously believed, that Neanderthals were a separate species from Homosapiens because if that were so, we should have seen any co-mingling (I like the word) result in a sterile offspring if any offspring were to result at all.

The point is that I see a similar pattern in Geoff's bloodline.  Certain physical characteristics are being bred out, noticeably, within four generations (though I know it goes back five generations) and I find that sad.  If Ethan would not have come out with a comment years ago about "Indians", I'm not sure when I would have gotten around to telling him that Aaron and Hunter, Geoff and the rest of the family have Indian heritage. It just isn't immediately recognizable after Grandpa.  And that is kind of sad.

Hmmm, Beer or Lemonade?

Some days really are better than others.  Mine went well; Hunter had an unexpected nap at 9:30 this morning because the sky was black and I guess he thought it was time to go to sleep.  After that we picked up Nana and drove her about town for a bit while she did her errands. We played at the park for a while and then it was time to go home. 

It all began with "one more thing" I had to drop off before going home and that meant the other three would get home from school before I got there.  Not usually much of a worry - they can generally handle ten minutes.  They were all still alive and well when I pulled up - always a good sign.  Then I went into my room.  I noticed a pretty decent sized hole in the door.  That was new.  So I asked a few questions.  Turns out Ethan threw a book at Ocean.  A hardcover atlas (because even with the internet I like to have books around).  Okay.  Well, Geoff won't be too happy but all is well, he didn't hit Ocean and by the look of the door she's pretty lucky.

Aaron decided to go get a friend.  I reminded him to behave.  He came back.  The boys were playing in the front yard.  I have no idea why I went out, or why I went around that side of the house.  You know that spot where your outside water tap is?  Well, it was still there, just protruding from the house in a way that didn't look so good.  After I stopped gawking at it I yelled for Aaron - because the boys were gone. 

One of the best things about Aaron is that when you call his name (if he's guilty) he'll respond with "I didn't do it".  "Do what?" I ask.  He is catching on to this as well but in the meantime I've got him - like I didn't already know.  So I ask him to explain to me what he did.  He spills.  That's another of his best qualities.  "I was rock climbing" he says.  You see, the hose was still attached and that thing is over my head.  Cute.  Your Dad is so not going to be happy.  And your friend has to go home.

So now I have two wonderful things to tell Geoff after work (and hopefully he's had a good day).  I was going to tell him after supper.  But he noticed the door.  Whoops.  Kind of forgot about how noticeable it was. So we have a nice supper warning everyone that they will be getting their talking to later.  Geoff managed to push the pipe thing back into the house but he thinks we need a plumber to be sure it's not leaking.  I tried to get a picture of it but he'd gotten to work too fast.  He was sorry I couldn't get one though, by the look on his face.

We talked to the kids all evening.  Holy fun.  Three separate interrogations/learning moments of: Why did you do it? What should you have done? What will you do next time?  Blah blah blah.  Ocean whipped Ethan with her jean jacket which is why he threw a book at her.  Aaron was just being a boy who saw an opportunity to do something fun with something that was otherwise uninteresting.  And through all the dialogue was Hunter, bounding in the kitchen or lying on his tummy at the edge of the kitchen with his face in hands yelling "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom" or "Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad". 

Hmmm, beer or lemonade?  Well, I had lemonade already today and this particular after-party called for something with a little more kick.   Oh, and it's possible that some lady thinks I'm a total bitch because as Hunter and I made our last run to the post office for Mom and Nana, she was standing on the sidewalk as we approached the stop sign.  My window was open and I saw her there, saw her sunglasses, really bright reflective ones but I said not a word, I swear.  Then I hear Hunter laugh and he says "nice sunglasses" and he could have been complimenting them, truly, but it sounded so much more like mockery and I looked in my sideview mirror and she was staring in our direction.  I was like, really?  Thanks Hunter. Happy Tuesday.

Once Big Oil...

We've all heard the buzz around Alberta Premier Redford and the leaps and bounds she is taking to get the Keystone Pipeline moving forward.  Those of us who live in "oil country" know how reliant our economy is on oil extraction.  We've been pretty lucky here because they just keep finding ways to make our oil work.  But what happens when it runs out?  Will Suncor stay and provide jobs in Alberta?  Will Flint?  The bottom line is that once the oil is gone, the economy will be too.  But wait; Premier Redford knows that.

     “We cannot continue to rely on oil and gas revenue to the extent that we do,” Jan 29. 2013

So why is she spending so much time and money doing just that?  Perhaps she is building her resume for retirement from public service.  Maybe she is interested in providing sales support to further damage Alberta's ( and the rest of the world) environment. Well, not maybe, that's the role she has taken now.  Under the guise of economic development however, you could say she is doing a fine job of trying to ship work out of the country in general and Alberta specifically.

The oilfield supports us now; me personally as well as many people I know.  I am concerned about what is going to happen when that ends.  And what will be the state of this province when that happens?  Premier Redford certainly won't be around to see it and most likely neither will I.  That does not mean I have nothing to worry about.  I have children, nieces and nephews, and friends whose children will be left to deal with the havoc we will have created for them. (picture courtesy of Meanwhile in Alberta)

But this is old news.  There is a problem and it's not going away.  I would rather talk solutions.  Alberta's carbon footprint is immense.  According to Environment Canada, Alberta and Ontario combined are responsible for almost 60% of our country's total emissions.  And I kind of feel bad for Ontario getting roped into that because their emissions are still much less than Alberta's.  (table Environment Canada 2013)

Thanks to technological advances, we have not only been given the opportunity to dessimate our environment but also to make changes to the way we live, work and build so that we can reduce our reliance on resources that will not be coming back anytime soon.  Sure the pipelines will create a few new jobs here but it will also help reduce the resource a lot faster.  And how many jobs will be lost once these pipelines are built?

Alberta needs to find ways, and more support from Redford, to go green.  The wind turbines are a great start and I see them popping up all over the beautiful green countryside.  Why not put a tax on builders who don't go green?  Why not lighten the tax on those who do?  We have the technology to lessen our carbon footprint and the work in Northern Alberta is too valuable to lose.  But changes have to be made and Redford claims to know this as well.  In the end though,  actions speak louder than words.

Soci(ological) Conscience

Over the past few days, the busiest person I follow on Twitter has been our esteemed leader, Mr. Stephen Harper, posting updates on his obviously busy schedule abroad.  He is hosting bi-lateral meetings with heads of states and touring old buildings.  The latter of which was humourously noted,  "(g)oing through a secret passageway at Farmleigh. For you Clue fans it's in the study, with the candlestick. http://ow.ly/m5fil".  I was impressed with the reference. Now for the rest of the story.

According to the CBC, Canada has pledged just under one hundred million dollars for aid to Jordan.  Jordan is currently under great economic strain from the influx of Syrian refugees as well as the threat of terror attacks.  They undoubtably need the additional support and I'm proud, as usual, to be Canadian.  However, with the cuts to funding here in Canada I have a difficult time reconciling my pride in our unwavering determination to help those less fortunate outside of our country with the disappointment in our inability to help those less fortunate inside our country.

I'm not (completely) mathematically disinclined.  I understand that 98.5 million dollars goes much farther in a foreign country than here due to our high standard of living.  For example, in 2010, the low income cut-off (LICO) in Canada was estimated at $29,623 (for a family of four in a city between 30,000 and 99,999). Based on the 2006 numbers from the World Bank, Jordan's poverty line is set at JD46.3 per month, or  1.43 Candian dollars to 1 Jordanian Dollar so $66.21 Canadian dollars per month, or $794.51 per year.  And from the same World Bank stats, 13% of Jordanians live at or under this amount while in Canada an estimated 9.2% live at or below our level. Well obviously that's a big difference.

From the same World Bank stats, 13% of Jordanians live at or under the poverty level while in Canada an estimated 9.2% live at or below the LICO levels. Right now I seem to be making a pretty good case for money leaving Canada.  One more thing, let's look at population size. As of January, 2013, Canada has a population of 35,056,064 people (but in 2009 was 33,726,900), while the estimated population of Jordan is 6,482,081 (estimated in 2006 to be 5,906,760).  And the totals are: 13% of 5,906,760 is 767,879;  9.2% of 33,726,900 is 3,102,875.

According to my math, and I'm no wizard, we have about three times more people living at or below the poverty level here in Canada.  98 million dollars is a lot of money.  While our programs and funding receive cuts, while our federal government lays off thousands of people, and the provincial government has promised to reduced jobs as well, why are we giving so much?  Wouldn't 5 million make a difference in Jordan? Because I'm certain it could even make a difference here.

And don't get me wrong, I am not ignorant of the difference between what people are going through in Jordan compared to what our issues are here; death and destruction vs. getting your power cut off because you cannot afford the bill. or not having fresh drinking water because you live on a reserve. We need to take care of people who need it, you won't get an argument from me on that.  But let's not take from those in need to give to those in need.  That seems counter-productive.

Education

I think Bill Maher is a comic genius.  And he swears a lot, which I can do as well but am not so comfortable with using in written form.  One of my favourite quotes of all time belongs to him : "Stop living your life around people who don't get the joke;  (F) them if they don't get the joke." And then I went here...

SO for the past four years, I have slaved (mostly) over assignments and worked my butt off (even cried) to finish by BA.  I'm pretty pleased with (even proud of) this accomplishment.  A few weeks ago (could be months, possibly days, I'm just guessing) I saw a Facebook post with a graduate in cap and gown that read: Just because you can do what you're told and think what they tell you to think, you think you're better than me??"  And I was crushed.  And I also now understand what it means to believe something like that because I once thought the same thing (I so did).

Do I feel smarter than before I went back to school?  Not really.  I definitely learned a lot of things I did not know before, so I have attained knowledge, but am I smarter?  If that's what it means to you, yes. I don't feel smarter though. Do I think I'm better than anyone who didn't pursue a post-secondary education?  Better than them at what?  I would like to think I can do some mean research and analysis but if you have the heart and mind for it (and access to the internet, library, facts and all that) then anyone else can do it too.  Writing?  There are probably too many people for me to count who managed to write successfully without going. So what's the big deal? I'm getting to that.

In addition to the student thing, I gave presentations to students and adults about planning for post-secondary.  My message was simple, at first.  Post-secondary opens doors for you.  I was aiming for law school and I couldn't get in there without an undergrad degree so that was one of the opportunities post-secondary offered that I could not have without.  After each presentation the participants did a survey; in part for accountability (we were there, working) and in part to see what they thought of our presentation.  One student replied: I didn't like the way she made me feel I couldn't be successful without post-secondary education. Touche.

Sometimes you have to balance your goal (motivate people to attend post-secondary) with reality (um, not every successful person has a post-secondary education).  For subsequent presentations I added a story about a young man who went to Harvard and then stopped going because he accomplished something other than attaining a degree: he built a little website called Facebook.  Did he need the education to be successful? Obviously not because last I heard he was doing alright with his little venture.  Perhaps what he needed, and what he got, was an experience; an idea.  Would he have thought of it without the experience? Maybe.  Maybe not.  Did this experience make him more (or less) accomplished than his counterparts who graduated? I think those Harvard Alumni have a decent chance at being successful (or not, but probably) as well.

To be fair, there are definitely some people who look down on those who did not obtain some sort of post-secondary education and others who look down on those who did not obtain a specific type of post-secondary education.  Why is that?  Here are my best guesses:

• It takes a great deal of commitment to get an education (I didn't finish my degree the first time around and I did finish the second time - I can attest to the difference in my commitment levels)
• In locations other than Alberta (read: oilfield), a post-secondary education offers more opportunity for work
• A post-secondary education offers better opportunity for advancement (many companies nowadays will limit the advancement, no matter how experienced or competent, of workers based on their education level. My Dad topped out after being with the only company he ever worked for after 20-25 years.  He worked with them until he retired knowing he would never see another promotion.)
• For certain occupations you just need specialized training (If you have the choice of becoming the next new patient of Mr. X, who is just as smart, if not smarter than Dr. Y, but did not go to medical school - or Dr. Y, who put in his time and learned about that stuff... who are you going to sign up with?)

Does this mean that you cannot be successful without a post-secondary education (refer to that story about the young Zuckerberg fellow)?  Obviously not.  Does that mean you lack the characteristics I described above (see Dad's story)? Definitely not, (but I did).  Does it mean you can't be a successful physician?  I think there actually is a law against that, so yes, yes it does... but I digress.  Personally, I think everyone would benefit from a post-secondary education - some of that is because I spent four years telling people that for my job - but I also had a great time; I made wonderful friends, I had a great experience, I had some fun - I enjoyed it.  Do I think of those who didn't put themselves through the agony (sometimes) I did? Hell no.... ah yes, the point.

It was a joke.  It was funny because, to a lot of people, it has a ring of truth to it.  You don't have to have a doctorate degree or a high school diploma to make the world a better place.  You don't have to sit through seemingly endless hours of lectures of university level biochemistry when you think you will never find a use for it (unless it's a breadth requirement).  But I hope you will bear in mind that everyone does or does not do things for a reason.  Hopefully your reason is not only worth bragging about but shows the world that you had the best interests of those less fortunate in mind when you made your decision.