Tooth Fairy Madness

I am ashamed to admit that the tooth fairy has been, upon occasion, a complete dumbass.  She wasn't a dumbass with the first teeth, never those ones, but with the subsequent ones - seriously, how many teeth do they have to lose anyway?! Not that the overabundance of lost teeth should really be the fairy's primary concern.


I only recall the tooth fairy being slightly slow on the uptake once when I was young.  Obviously it was such a traumatic experience that it stayed with me and so I am well aware of what my own children are in for.  I digress.  We were either staying with or living with Nana and I awoke from a fitful sleep only to discover that there had been no midnight exchange of money for the little bud of bone, skin and dried blood.  I lamented this as I walked into the kitchen and was told to head back to the room and check just one more time to be sure. 

Doing this only further destroyed my sense of tooth-worthiness as there was still no monetary reward under the pillow.  Back to the kitchen I went and as I grabbed my dish out of the cupboard, I was shocked to see that the fairy had cunningly left money right in my cereal bowl.  Thinking back on that, I'm pretty sure they (Mom and Nana) let me scoop the money out and poor my cereal and milk right on top of all the germs that had to have been left behind. Yu-Yu-Yummy!

This is not about my own crushed childhood beliefs though and I once said that I liked to make these blogs helpful for others so here it is: What you can say to your children if the tooth fairy turns out to be brain-dead when your children's teeth are falling out like mad: based on, as usual, actual events.

1: "The Tooth Fairy didn't like the way you packaged it."  This is especially helpful once word gets around at your kid's school about the incredibly amazing things she does at other kids' homes. My friend Sara's kids had the best stories.  The Tooth Fairy left fairy dust and a card and all this other stuff that she didn't seem to have at my house, and the tooth had to be left in a container of water.  Since the Fairy was remarkably out of fairy dust and forgot about two or three nights in a row, there was some massively creative story-telling going on.  Finally, she got her shit together and managed to exchange the tooth for some cash. I suck, I know.

2. "I bet she couldn't find it".  Who carries cash nowadays?? It's not like you can prep for a lost tooth! They come to you at 9pm after they should have been asleep for an hour or so and suddenly you're supposed to have change?  This was back in the day when I was at home by myself and Geoff was away working too so there was just no getting out to hit the bank machine.  I probably could have called on Grandma.  Guaranteed they would have kicked the Fairy into action so as not to disappoint the children but I just thought of it now and there's no going back.

3. "Maybe the Tooth Fairy was running low on funds." That gets you out of a missed visit.  "See, she left your tooth, so she must mean to come back for it." It's also a nice segue for the "how much do I get" part.  My nieces and nephew had been receiving bills around this time and when it's brought up at Grandma's Sunday dinner, you could choke. "She leaves me a $20!" And there you are with your mouth hanging open going holy crap Nicky!  Kidding - ish.  (I love you Nicky).  But beware, it happens.  And they do become marginally suspicious if they get five bucks in quarters; keep it simple, they like loonies and toonies or large bills :).

4. "Are you sure?? Maybe you should check again!" This one obviously depends on the layout of your house and whether they have the tooth on them at the time.  Hey, it worked for my Mom and I have miraculously managed it myself in a weird twist of memory fate.  Ethan mentioned that he'd forgotten to check before breakfast and I actually had the money.  I made my way in there and found the offending tooth, left money and also picked out his clothes.  It was magic.

5. Last but not least: "Are you sure it was under your pillow?" Yes, blaming the victim is wrong but sometimes you just have to dig yourself really deep, especially if you have no cash on you. 

And there you have it folks, if you're in a bind and find yourself scrambling at 6:30 am, you can't say I didn't try to help by being the worst parent ever.  The purpose of the Mom Evolution is that you learn from my mistakes.

first photo: imbd.com; second photo: attachedmoms.com; third photo: telegraph.co.uk;

An Evolution With or Without Mutations?

I have too many decisions to make and too many things to look after.  This is hell.  How on earth do stay at home moms do this???  I just got my last pay cheque so I am officially unemployed.  Even though I haven't worked in two weeks, this is it - there are no more cheques coming.  Panic. I'm sure I can do this - I mean, I've been running myself ragged for as long as I can remember but this organizing my family and myself is tough - and they've only been back to school for three days.  I realize it's going to get better (perseverance) but OMG.

Hunter won't nap at the same time I want to nap so I don't know if he's going to be my favourite or not.  This morning when I put him into the car to go to my - frick - that ear, nose and throat doc guy, I said, out loud "Wow - is it hot in here or is it just me?" And I giggled because I actually said it and then Hunter says "no, it's just you" and he was totally my favourite.  Then he threw up in the car and I had my doubts.  He also napped the whole way home after that so he wasn't really aiming for my good books because I was literally forcing myself to stay awake. 

Ethan and Aaron came home and they played and everything was great until it wasn't and they were fighting.  Took away electronic equipment and made them play a game at the table but there was no pleasing them and then there was more fighting.  We ate dinner and told them there was no more electronics until tomorrow and then they went outside and played - all three of the boys - super happy.  WTF?!

I did my rounds, kissed everyone good night and they were all sleepy and cuddled into their beds.  By this time, I had received my second wind and so off I went to find the nearest computer and try to gather my thoughts with a deliciously cold adult beverage; the mere thought of which, I believe, will help me sleep in the very near future.

 So here I sit, all dazed and confused, wondering if the Mom Evolution was perhaps too progressive an idea..  However, I suppose when you think of the term "evolution", the insinuation is that there will be change.  And in the front seat of this incredible roller coaster ride I have comfortably called "my life" where there are incredible inclines and declines and nerve-wracking screams - there is always room for evolving - of one sort or another.

The "Problem Moms"

I have officially accepted a competition with another Mom - who will be the worst nightmare Mom of the school year?  By the way, I don't think either of us relish this claim, it just so happens that I tend to be one of them each year.  Little things like not getting my forms signed and writing notes instead - you just know the teachers are like "It's them - it's always them." 

So, my friend has already begun her year by purchasing the wrong items for the school supplies. I have yet to buy gym shoes.  In actuality I bought gym shoes but the kids loved them and decided to use them as their everyday shoes and that was when I discovered a) Ocean hated her other runners and b) Ethan didn't have any runners.  The kid has worn loafer-type shoes for regular footwear for so long I guess I forgot.  Oh wait, he had runners last year but I guess he doesn't like doing up laces. 

I doubt either of us plan to go out of our way to further complicate our relationships with our child's school but it will be those little things - which I refer to as severe cases of being a dumbass - that make our list for the year.  Stay tuned - I might even tell you her name - if she lets me :)


In other news, my kids went back to school today and it was pretty good - Hunter and I had a pajama day (after we drove their supplies to school and waited impatiently for the kids' bus to arrive).  All was grand until he handed me a water bottle; "This smells like pee" he said.  Um, ew, but I smelled it anyway because WHY would it smell like that? "Ugh" I said disgustedly "it does... why is that?" Hunter was looking at the TV "Because we..." he trailed off.  "Because why Hunter?"  He looked straight into my eyes and said "Because Ethan peed in it." What the devil??? I cannot even begin to describe how many times I said F. F, F, F, F, F, F-ity F.

I sat on this for awhile because it was just after lunch when Hunter informed me and the kids don't get home until after 3.  I had decided that Ocean must have done something so horrid to Ethan and he finally decided to fight back.  Sick, yes.  But he's a boy.  Still, it didn't seem like something Ethan would do.  Anyhow, I took Hunter's word and after school I began my inquisition.

Holding up the bottle, I asked Ethan if he had something to tell me about it.  He looked at it "No, what?  I brought it in already." Well that wasn't true but I stood there.  Ethan didn't crack a grin.  Enter Aaron.  I looked at him, I held the bottle "Aaron?" He cracked right up. "What? Because there was pee in it?" OMG! I mean, I knew somebody had done it but still, to have someone admit it - I went off on sanitary usage (and disposal) of that - and I tried to figure out where he possibly could have gotten the idea.

One possibility? Movies.  One in particular that I love because it's so freaking well done slap stick and I cannot help but laugh and laugh at that scene where the cop takes a big swig from a bottle of what he assumes is beer... Dumb and Dumber. And yes, I have let my children watch this movie.  We watched it last weekend.  I hate myself sometimes.  (Thinking of renaming the Mom Evolution to And the Winner of the Worst Mom of the Year IS...)

The Non-nomination For Mother of the Year Award

Yes, I am one of those Moms who hopes I do lots more right than wrong and that my kids do not end up being useless twits.  Today, that's the least of my worries because I, in one of my most un-intellectually stimulated moments to date, showed Hunter how to use a lighter.  Not down and out "put your finger here and do this" showed him, but he asked what it was and I told him it was a lighter.  He stared at me.  I said, "It makes fire." He stared at me.  I lit it.  His response? "Woah!! Can I try?!" And I was like "I am the biggest dumbass ever."

Now really, this is not the first time he's ever seen a lighter.  Nor is it the first time he's ever asked (Dad) to "make it fire".  However, this is the first time I've seen this response from him and I can't help but wonder when he's going to inadvertently burn our house down - because that's the other thing I saw light up in his eyes...

Okay, so that probably won't happen because we're fairly smart about not leaving lighters and matches around for the kids to play with.  Having almost burned my own house down at the tender age of five, I am well aware of what happens when you leave that stuff out.  I also keenly remember the ass-whooping I got when my own Mom discovered the lit candle under my bed and all the burn marks in the quilt since we'd been playing with it for a bit by the time we were busted.

The Mom Evolution - Appears I jumped the gun on stage 5

After that I was trying to get supper preparations finished, early, so we could go swimming for a bit this afternoon.  Suddenly there was screaming and the ever-anticipated sound "thump, thump, thump", followed by more screaming and crying.  Well Ethan's hands were tied and Aaron proceeded to pull Ethan down the stairs.  "How were you tied up?" I asked after everyone was calm. "Ocean did it!" Enter Ocean "Ethan tied my hands up and then he was like 'Okay! My turn' so I tied his hands!" I'm about to call Aaron out but he's prepped "Ethan threw a shoe at me!" While Hunter interjected here and there with "No, it was Aaron/Ethan/Ocean!"

Have I ever mentioned what the penalty is for pissing me off?  I make them play together.  A sit-down game at the kitchen table until they're nice to each other again.  So now we have to wait for that to finish so we can go swimming.  Well, at least my dinner is mostly prepped and I don't have much else to do other than hang out with Hunter.  Who just came in after that whole mess was sorted and said "So, Mom, what are you doin?" No worries, Hunter, I'm not doing anything that doesn't directly involve you.  Cheers Y'all.

Top Ten things I Love About the Fall

It all starts with back to school, but there's so much more than that!

10: Back To School Shopping - sure it's busy and you spend a small fortune between school supplies and clothes, but it's still kind of fun - reminds me of my own excitement for getting new clothes and supplies :)



pinterest via Jessica Scott

9: No Birthdays! Our family starts having birthdays in January, has a massive hit (with six in February) and then a few in March, a couple in April, one in May and three in June, two more in July and four more, including a biggie (Nana's) in August - Back to school means saving solely for Christmas. (That sounds kind of sucky but it's a good thing, trust me)

8: Fun Fall Occasions: There's Thanksgiving and Halloween, harvest colours - I love the fall!


7:Boots: I also love fall boots and cute fall jackets - I have way too many jackets and I miss them in the summer.

6: New TV to keep you warm on those chilly evenings - I barely watch it but I know it's an exciting time of year for the end of reruns and I do have a couple I'm looking forward to :)


http://fashionistatrends.com/fall-fashion-trends-september/

5: Turning the fireplace on: Also, love this about the fall!

4: Baking - I did some in the summer as well but it's just so hot! In the fall it feels homey!

3: Fall is my favourite time of year - I love the crisp air, the turning leaves - and above all, I have more sweaters than anything else and I prefer fall colours over any other so this is when my inner fashionista can finally shine :)

2: Schedule, Schedule, Schedule! As much as I had looked forward to not having a schedule, I am doubly looking forward to getting that back!

1: "Bouquets of sharpened pencils" You've Got Mail

The kids are getting bouncy, looking forward to seeing their friends they may or may not have been able to spend a little time with over the summer vacation and they are also looking forward to their new classes and new teachers :)

Free-falling Into Bad Food Oblivion

I had to wash Hunter's mouth out with soap.  In addition to the agitating "stupid", he has begun to use the word "a$$hole" - pairing them together like a pro and all but it's just inappropriate.  Aaron probably deserved it just as much since he's the one who taught Hunter to say it.  DAMN - I am so doing that next time Hunter says it - I have a feeling that might be doubly effective!  Anyhow, so between that and the fact that I felt like a walking ball of crap (and no, I didn't drink the whole case of beer yesterday) I said to hell with the "make me feel better diet". 

I had cereal for lunch (sugary stuff that I never eat) and crashed hard afterwards. I napped with Hunter on the couch at 2:30 and felt like absolute garbage when I got up.  I was supposed to make chicken but I didn't feel like it.  I opted for pizza.  I called Geoff because we needed some meat. Then it hit me - I NEED CHIPS! AND POP! I'm SO DONE! Give me salt and caffeine! 

I've had my fill now, after a couple of glasses of caffeine-free root beer (felt like drinking decaf coffee too but I took it) and about three handfuls of cheap and oily but desperately appreciated corn chips.  Now Geoff's being all productive in the garage again (every night this week) and I feel unproductive since I haven't finished sorting the socks. Sorting the SOCKS. Please rock my Friday night a little harder over here! 

On the plus side, we've got the tunes going and Hunter just dropped by to dance around like a stipper in training while singing something about "being smarter than your kids" so I think maybe we should go hang out for a bit before bed and he can teach me some of these shameless moves. I have a feeling that's going to make up for the whole day :) 

More BTS Shopping and Cooking Thrills

Guess what?! I almost finished the back to school shopping today!! I spent WAY too much money only to realize that I was so not even finished!!  This is a happy note though because something grand is in the works.

FIRST: we have about 8 more items to pick up for back to school supplies and that will be completed tomorrow.  WOOHOO! Why on EARTH my daughter needs FIVE one inch binders is so freaking over my head I cannot even begin to fathom it. And my seven year old, for grade two, needs BOTH a zippered binder AND a one inch binder - truly beyond my WILDEST imaginings.  I'm almost one hundred percent positive that my first binder was purchased with utmost care and consideration, when I was in junior high.  Now, it's grade two.  AND THEY NEED MORE THAN ONE! Whatev - that's the way they roll now.

Personally, I would be seriously ecstatic if SOMEONE could explain to me why my grade fiver needs TWENTY duotangs, PLUS his TWO one inch binders, and a two inch binder AND his zipper binder!! Oh wait, don't forget the PLASTIC duotang for math! 25 different things to put stuff in! SERIOUSLY? Are they getting a new one bi-weekly?? Rawr!


My dear friend Brandy went off about this on Facebook recently and I have to tell you, I am a bit of a socialist at heart.  It would be super nice if everyone who could helped everyone else who couldn't and every kid got the same advantages - like having enough school supplies.  Like Brandy said though, it would be HONOURABLE if the school coughed up the real reason for these extraordinary supply lists - donations.  Because let's be honest here - my kid does not need this many items and I know this because he only comes home with his zipper binder and like four used duotangs at the end of the year.  FINI.

Now onto the good news.  For the past two weeks that I have been on my kick of using Gordon Ramsay's Everyday Cooking cookbook, I have noticed some amazing things: my pantry is not sickeningly full of stuff that's not really good for us; my grocery bill has gone down; I am making some incredibly good food AND my recycling bins are NOT overflowing by the end of the week. That is all around good news.

So there I was, posting my dinner pictures, my meal next to the picture out of the book but I can't post the recipes because of copyright laws.  That got me thinking.  I happen to know a chef who has never published a cookbook but has had an extremely successful career.  So I have asked him to make a beginner's guide book of recipes for people who may, like me, be interested in cooking from scratch, but not necessarily a "foodie" who has been into this for a long time.  Let's call it a transitional how-to. 

Super exciting stuff here and I will be adding YET ANOTHER blog to detail this next avenue.  I have essentially asked him for a month's worth of recipes for the newbie, like me, that is an easier transition for the whole family.  So far, my kids have tried everything I've cooked - except Hunter, so there are limits, but everyone else has tried it and we've even found a couple of new favourites! Stay tuned!

Oh My Sweet Wonderful Pre-Teen Daughter

You know those days, when you're completely off and the littlest, teeniest, tiniest things just make you incomprehensibly grumpier?  This was not one of those days.  In fact, not only was I productive today, my kids didn't fight, and Hunter fell asleep by 8:00 - everything was fine. 

Which is why, when Ocean was showing me the new outfit that her Nana just bought for her, and I saw the pants which had cutouts from the ankle up to mid-thigh... and I almost choked, turned to my Mom and said "Are those open? Can you see her skin??" "No" Mom assured me "you could if they were tight but they're not at all." (And if I'd told her that I'd seen a pair of those before, on a girl in my class who my Mom refused to ever let me hang out with she might have thought differently)... I took it well when Ocean said "I'm so wearing them to school" and then punctuated it with a lilting "Deal with it" as she walked away.  Funny thing.  My Mom would have screeched and grounded me on the spot for that kind of remark. However, from her only grand-daughter (and directed at me rather than her) my Mom laughed.   I have every intention of making those things disappear before school starts. Deal with that.

My mind was made up and everything was harmonious once more and the kids played until bed time.  Ocean met me in the hallway stating that she was off to bed - it was 8:45.  We talked for a few minutes and the phone rang - it was 9:00.  "That's (my friend)" she said "and Boom - I'm right." Okay I turned to leave and was headed back to the computer when she called me. "Mom, remember when you said (my friend) might be able to stay over tonight? Well can she?" "Ocean, it's nine o\clock at night" I said "and your Dad will be here in the morning to pick you up - make a plan for Sunday." She complained a little. "Sunday" I said firmly, "make a plan." And I closed the door. 

Within a few minutes I got a text from her. "Thanks Mom, now she hates me." By this time, my completely relaxed attitude was beginning to erode; fast.  "I doubt she hates you because I told you to make a plan. Why didn't we talk about this earlier today?" (I'd forgotten that she'd told me only minutes earlier that she was going to bed) "You said tomorrow or Sunday... I said tomorrow" She was right, I had said exactly that.  Patience waning. I wrote back "Then if it was already a plan, you wouldn't have had to ask but you did, so it wasn't.  Sunday or Monday, those are your options honey." (Kind of reminds you of "deal with it"?) "Whatever" was her reply.  Deep breath.

Ethan showed up shortly after complaining that Ocean knew where his iPod was and told him it would cost five dollars to get her to tell him.  Patience? What the hell is that???  I roar into the kitchen and grumpily reiterate what Ethan had told me and Ocean stares at me... then looks at Aaron... then the table... "Oh," she says smacking her hand against her forehead "I totally blanked; what was the question?" She's laughing, Aaron and Ethan are laughing and I've got a stupid smirk on my face.  And that was that.  My sweet, wonderful pre-teen daughter is relatively harmless... for now.

Helmets and Other Sources of Parental Dictatorship

Geoff was not a happy camper when he came home tonight.  Seems that Aaron and Ethan were outside riding bikes without helmets.  If you read the last post, I mentioned that Geoff was only really unyielding about one thing: safety.  So he was not in a good mood.  This resulted in a special presentation for all of the kids on the importance of wearing a helmet, courtesy of YouTube. 


That was about the coolest thing I've seen technology do for us as parents - backing up what we say with some street credit from people who upload stuff to YouTube.  And even though I always tell the kids to wear helmets and both Geoff and I wear one when we go riding, there was a part of this presentation that I really hadn't spent too much time talking to the kids about - what an injury to a child does to their family and friends.  It was really impressive in that it made the point, very well, that the injury is costly, scary, and difficult to overcome for both the person who was injured and their whole family. 

After they finished watching it, Geoff made the kids think of ways they could be safer while riding a bike/skateboard/scooter and apologize to us for not wearing their helmets.  Tough, yes, but I think the point was adequately made through the video and each of them seemed genuinely upset at what could happen just because they didn't take the time to don a helmet. 

This was all before dinner.  During dinner, Hunter entertained us all with his clowning around and I realized that he was enjoying the attention just a bit too much.  I quieted the others and put on my "mom" hat (because prior to that he'd almost made me choke with laughter at his extremely "on" Hunter-ness).  He calmed down a little and Geoff's mood hadn't really improved. 

After supper he was encouraging the kids to help clean up and someone must have said something because the last thing I heard from the kitchen was "Deirdre, don't make anyone supper tomorrow!" Which I'm sure was leftover grumpiness because he can see the menu on the fridge and he knows we're having fried chicken tomorrow.  Then again, perhaps he saw the "with broccoli bake" and figured it was worth the risk.  He eats his cooked vegetables but only because I told him he has to or the kids won't. My guess is he figures his minimal discomfort is better than years of fighting with the kids.

In any case, he's not my parent and I'm most likely going to ignore him and cook dinner tomorrow.  On a side note, he just stepped in and I asked him about his grumpiness.  Turns out he's oddly suspicious about telling me much while I'm obviously in the middle of blogging.  Huh.  Strange.

Taking Those Deep Breaths

When I had two little babies, that would be Ocean and Ethan, I was excessively worried about "doing it right".  As far as I was concerned, I was pretty messed up from my dealings with an uber dictator Mom (I'm sure she'd like that).  In her defense, she was a single parent who grew up in the late 60's with a very traditional Mom and Dad and two brothers - she was also a middle child.  She embraced the power of women (which I doubt her father approved of) and became a hippie who never really went yuppie.  Which would probably have made for a wicked upbringing except she went all tyrranical with two daughters. Just my opinion.

Anyway, before I had kids, I remember seeing an episode of Oprah who was interviewing a guy who wrote a book called "How to Behave So Your Children Will Too".  Nana had always told me that the reason my Mom and I fought so much is because we were so much alike.  I vowed to respect that my daughter was likely to be like me, and she is, and I try to respect it because it's more important to me that I allow all the kids a chance to have their say, stand up for what they think is right and hearing them out when they disagree with us.  Which means taking some deep breaths once in a while but so far it's nothing with the other ones when compared to Hunter.

Whose kid is he anyway?? Sure I'm kind of particular, slightly perfectionist, yet not OCD or anything.  And Geoff.. well he's an anal safety guy I will admit, but he's not overbearing about much else.  Ethan is the most happy-go-lucky guy I've ever known; Aaron is super excitable but can also be moody, and Hunter... that kid is just off the charts some days.  Sure he's three, but he won't be three forever and I'm kind of worried he might be nutso forever.

Hot Chocolate.  Yes, this is about hot chocolate.  He asked for some hot chocolate he "can blow on".  In the past he has asked for "hot chocolate that isn't hot".  We get it, cool it down.  So I made him hot chocolate - not super hot but like a minute in the kettle which was filled with cold water so it wasn't even close to boiling.  If he doesn't ask for milk and you put milk in, he'll freak, so I didn't.  He asked for marshmallows.  I put some in.  Apparently he meant "on the side".

So for the following ten minutes, he cried, I moved the hot chocolate because he has upon occasion dumped something you didn't get right, and I fought with him to enjoy his hot chocolate.  He wanted the hot chocolate, I gave it back.  He tried to fish the marshmallows out but it was hot and he cried some more.  "Use the spoon!" (that was in the cup) I told him,  He tried that.  He was happy.  (#$&%)

I love my kids, I really do - and I'm hoping that allowing them to have their way sometimes will make them stronger people - I'm not trying to raise doormats here - but you have to do a lot of breathing sometimes.  Not that that's a bad thing entirely - I would say I spend the rest of the time holding my breath when I'm waiting for the inevitable daily fights to break out.  So maybe this is just their way of keeping me alive.  Well that's a better way to put it I guess.

Well, Today is the Last Day

Today is my last day of paid work.  I had started to say "my last day of work" but if you've got four kids that is so not true.  And my kids are thrilled because they don't get it.  They think everything will be coming up roses because they won't have to go to a sitter and they'll have homemade treats every day.  Of course that last part is kind of my fault because I went on this massive baking spree right after graduation to make up for the fact that I hadn't baked anything since Christmas 2009.

I realize that obstacles are either barriers or opportunities to do something different in a glass half-empty or half-full mentality.  The other day when I was gathering some research materials (because that's what I learned to do and it would be incredibly stupid not to use it) for my evolving business idea, I grabbed a Law of Attraction magazine - though I'm not sure why because that has nothing to do with my business.... or maybe on some subconscious level it does.

In the first few pages I read about vision boards.  I have vision boards in my head but it's pretty chaotic in there and I'm thinking of making one that has actual density.  If you don't like the term "vision board" you could call it "planning" or "goal setting" or even "brainstorming".  In any case, it's not going to hurt to move that chaos into the realm of reality - like a to-do list with pictures for an eye-popping view of your future.  I've said it before, planning when you have children is more like a wish list in my house anyway and pictures just make everything better.

Of course, I also have a plan for the interim of being unemployed and business...less and I've come up with something I think is substantially possible. Because I don't have nearly enough kids of my own, I'm going to offer before and after school care.  Being that it's pretty much impossible to find here (and I know because I've looked!) I figure that might provide some much appreciated income.  Geoff suggested I make an ad that says "I'm staying home, so you don't have to" or "I don't have a job so I'll take your kids and you can keep yours".  He's such a smartass.

Even though I have a plan for continuing to get paid while I figure out my business, I'm well-versed in the whole "plans can change" predicament.  My children, however are optimistic about my joblessness.  Ocean says "yay! That means you can spend more time with us!"; Ethan concurs with the exact same sentence and Aaron said "good-ish?" Why? "Because we won't have to go to a babysitter - I hate that." Hunter?  Well I didn't expect a detailed oral report but upon hearing that I wasn't going to have to go to work anymore he said "so can we go to Grandma's?"

My brother-in-law's (still think it's neat to say that) birthday celebration is going on this evening and although I originally thought we wouldn't make it (because we pay sitters $10/hour and by tonight I will be officially unemployed), Nana has offered to come by after dinner and stay with the kids.  Things should be pretty calm by then because dinner doesn't start until 7.  And as I think about my last day of work... well I've come to the conclusion that I should have some fun.  All this mature planning crap can be tough and it's my brother-in-law's birthday; it would be totally self-centred to wallow in self-pity and not celebrate others' joy - in costume.  That's just common sense people.

How Did I Ever Manage?

Yesterday I worked.  For another two days, I have a job and we don't usually work much in the summer anyway.  For the last four years I have had this amazing job where I give presentations to junior and senior high school students and interested adults on planning for post-secondary, the difference between the many options available and student funding. This has been a job I loved and something I was really good at - which probably helped me to love it. 

So for the past four years I have done this - pretty much Monday to Friday - while being a full-time student.  Now that I've graduated, I have to leave my job because it's for current post-secondary students and I am no longer one of those.  A couple of fellow graduates who were a year ahead of me had told me it wouldn't really hit until September when I realized I wouldn't be going back.  In my case it's a double whammy because graduating actually finished my job as well. 

When I got home last night, I was exhausted.  Everything hurt.  Moreso than when I organized the crap out of my house for a week.  Now I realize I'm tired - hah - I've been tired for about three years! Change is good ... isn't it?  I've read a few blogs from women who are heading back to work after some (or a lot of)home time with the kids.  Right now, I don't envy them.  I don't know how I managed for the past four years. 

In a way I blame my children.  Well, not the children I guess, so much as the pregnancies.  When my first was born I bounced back within about six months.  The second took longer.  The third longer still - about three years.  So it is my expectation that the fourth child will take me about four years to recuperate from.  And I'm only on year three.  Plus I probably didn't speed up the recovery process when I took that full twelve months of schooling after he turned one.  And really, it wasn't 12 months straight, if was more like 20 because we start in September and end in April.  I only went straight through 2011, but the school year was also on the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2012.

Considering all of the progress I've made organizing the house, I was reminded of why it got so bad in the first place - I was tired.  Even FlyLady's fifteen minutes is too much to ask when you feel like that. Ugh.  A few of my girlfriends told me they couldn't imagine how I did what I did over the last few years and I refused to think about it - I just did it.  I told them I'd think about it when I was done because  I thought I might have an answer then - and here it is: I was pursing my goals.  Maybe the reason everything has tired me out so much since graduation is because it was no longer part of my goals; they've changed in the last year.  At this time in my life, aiming for law school seems even more insane than what I've just done.  But people keep encouraging me to rest up a bit and see how I feel later.  Good advice.  For later. 

Today we are headed for some fun and sun at my cousin's place.  Since we've moved closer to family, I still haven't seen any of them - busy, busy.  And though I'm tired and sore, I know it will feel better to actually get out - again.  Some sick irony there.  But my cousins have a pool and the kids should really enjoy themselves.  That pretty much explains it there.  I've often agreed to the saying "If Momma's happy, everyone's happy - if Momma's not happy, then nobody's happy".  However, a great deal of our happiness is found in our children's happiness too.  If they enjoy the day as much as I think they're going to, and I get some adult conversation and share some laughs, well I'm pretty sure everyone will be happy.  That's at the top of my priority list today; right after the blog.

Can't Wait to See Dad :) Poetic Injustice.

"Where's Hunter? Where's Hunter?" I call and I call,
Why are there NOT full length doors on fitting room stalls?
"Ethan? Where are you? Come try on these shoes!" and aisle after aisle there's no Ethan at all.
"Oh" says Ocean, "they went to the escalator". And I exit the store to stand in the hall.

"Hunter, stop running! Two more stores and we're done!"
"Ethan, do you like this?" "No, maybe that other one."
"Aaron try on each size." "Mom, this isn't any fun!"
"We'll do something tomorrow" I'm praying there'll be sun.

"Please watch your brother," I beg "he cannot leave the store!"
"I love this!" Squeals Ocean; "Can I please try on more?"
"In a minute" I tell her, "Hunter's headed for the door."
"Where's Hunter?" I ask Ethan. "Over there on the floor."

"Ok, these ones for gym shoes" chirps Ocean "but I need another pair too."
"Well can you find something here?" "Yeah, if you let me get the wedge running shoe."
"You're eleven and those are ridiculous, I am so not buying them for you!"
"Well my friend.." I don't care, one bit, what those other kids do!"

"Now where's Hunter?" He's under a shelf?  "Ugh, Hunter, gross, it's so dirty down there!"
"Ethan, do you have that hoodie?" I can't find that kid anywhere!
"Sigh" says Ocean, "what do you think of this shirt with my hair?"
Are you kidding right now, love - do I look like I care??

"Tough day?" Sales girl asks, reading my eyes.
"Can we go to Toys R Us?" and something in me dies.
"Maybe a shot of vodka?" She winks, obviously wise,
"Mom I'm hungry. Can we please have some fries?"

Forgot to grab cash and inevitably,
Each kid wants something different to eat.
Ocean goes first so I grab us a seat,
KFC, Taco Time, Arby's - how sweet!

"Where to now Mom?" She grins ear to ear;
"Hunter stay with me!" Where's Aaron? "Come here!"
Our steps are now hurried, the end, it is near,
"Ethan keep up; Hunter stay!" I now sneer.

"Stop hitting, no running!" They're driving me mad,
School's almost started, I will be so glad,
Behold the worst two hours I've ever had,
Can't wait to get home and leave you with Dad.

Apologies Are Best Served Unordered

Unordered does not seem like it should be a word but spellcheck is leaving it alone and it's the word I wanted so I will let it be.  If you've been following along, I've made a grand attempt at reorganizing my home so that I may enjoy some sort of organization in other areas of my life.  I've been lucky because everyone (who's been here) in my house seems to be on board.  Ocean and Ethan are coming back this afternoon but I don't see too many issues there - I've kept on the other boys, I can get Ethan too.

Aaron has been an absolute darling since he was able to play his game; so I don't really chalk it up to the fact that he likes the house now but it's still a remarkable improvement.  When I call him, for anything, he answers straight away.  When I ask him to do something, he does it.  And I've had to ask.  "Where does your hoodie belong?" He puts it away. "Where do your plates belong?" He puts them away.  I've said it before, I don't mind reminding them so long as they do it - and I've been getting it done without complaint.


Last night Hunter had taken a container of cereal into the living room (and Geoff was right there - not impressed) and spilled some on the floor.  I had to pause their movie to get it picked up but I did it. I'm becoming really adamant about that stuff now that the place is pre-tidy.  Geoff, obviously realizing his place in this moment, came over to do it and I told him not to and Hunter, seeing this, said "You pick it up Dad" (!! - Nana picked up after me, I picked up after my kids and it doesn't do any good - I'm speaking from experience here!).  Hunter did pick the stray pieces of cereal up - with his toes.  I said nothing because I don't care how you do it, just do it.  He eventually used his hands because he accidentally spilled the container twice while using his toes. Obviously, that cereal hit the trash but it was old anyway and I guess I'd forgotten it was in the cupboard. 

Every morning and night when Hunter takes off clothes I ask him where they go. "In the laundry basket" he says and puts them there.  He has no issues running around naked so sometimes I find the clothes in weird places: the hallway, the kitchen, on the stairs.  I call him and ask where his clothes go - and he puts them away.  I also try to get them to put shoes away to keep the entryway clear.  So far, so good.

This morning Hunter was snacking on Life cereal.  He had taken a fistful out and of course some dropped on the floor.  I was in the kitchen, had noticed this, and figured I would ask him to pick them up after I was finished with whatever I was doing.  Then he came in after a few minutes and said "I'm sorry Mom for mumble, mumble, mumble." I bent down. "What are you sorry for?" "I'm sorry for getting cereal on the floor" he said.  Well doesn't that just warm your heart! "You don't have to be sorry" I said with a hug and a smile,  "just come in and pick it up."  And he did.

The most amazing feeling in the world is when you see your kids doing something so well - and you know it's because of something you said or did.  I felt amazing when he apologized because he was not only aware of the fact that he had left the cereal on the floor, but also that he shouldn't have left it on the floor - that kid makes me think there's hope for all the boys.  And has also given me the motivation to continue with my housework today because before I put this all down, I didn't want to do a darned thing.  Now I'll go organize something because apparently, even the little guy appreciates it. :)

Is It Bedtime Yet?

For me.  Can it be bedtime for me.  Today was a good day actually - we didn't particularly accomplish a lot, but nothing in particular needed to be done.  I am a day out on my menu planning since the fiasco last night (I Facebooked that one on the Mom Evolution page) but I'm just moving along.  Tonight it was pork sliders with homemade barbeque sauce, sweet potato fries and coleslaw.  I invited Mom and Nana over.

Nana hasn't seen my house since I went ballistic on the organization and I wanted her to since she was often tidying every time she walked in the door.  Tonight she did not have to and she was pleased (I feel so grown up).  And both of them enjoyed dinner as well.  We were talking afterwards about all of my organization and now the decent cooking.

When I was young, Nana tried to get me interested in cooking but I wasn't - at all.  I could make ichiban and KD and crepes.  I was good to go.  Nana once said to me, in trademark Nana frustration,  "When you get married, you're going to want to cook for your family and you'll want to be good at it." "No," I replied, "I'll just marry a chef."  And I did that.  It didn't work out so well and turns out I do want to cook for my family and I did have to learn how to cook.  Who knew? (Don't say "Nana".)

Anyhow, we were talking about all of this domestication and I have been thinking - there's still a vacancy for a Martha Stewart right?  And who wouldn't want to be Martha freaking Stewart?  Minus the tax-evasion-and-jail part.  I probably won't be the next Martha Stewart but who knows? It made my Mom laugh.  All in all, it was a good day but like any weekend, it was busy here and there and I'm ready for bed.  If I can just get the kids settled down.  One more thing.  In my life, that's pretty normal.

Momma-Me-A

Although I love the fact that G takes his Saturday chores seriously, I find it difficult to relax with all the movement.  I grew up with this too - my Nana was always "puttering".  Thank goodness for technology.  I prefer to "putter" online.

G is also a Sunday night power-tidy-upper; not that he's had to do that in two whole weeks.  And now he's asking me to get my grocery list together so we can meal plan.  Or get my meal plan so we can grocery shop.  In either case, it is obvious he thinks I am not supposed to be doing this.

Back to my story.  I come from a family of insanely pushy women.   I don't even mean that in the sense that they're overwhelming or nagging all the time (which they can be).  I mean that they push themselves. My Nana is going to be 82 in a couple of weeks and she's still rarely sitting.   We're thinking of getting her an iPad for her birthday - she'll sit more.

Nana has always dizzied me with her bustling; always busy, always working.  My Mom has had a horribly painful back problem for the past ten years but she still works, cleans and moves stuff that needs to be moved.   Yet both of them get on my case about "doing too much".  "You need to take a break" or "can we help with anything?" they would say.  Like it makes me feel so super capable if I have to call my 82 year old Nana to come give me a hand.

After one particularly annoying conversation with Nana that was something like the above but peppered with her telling me all the things she had accomplished that day, and how my Mom should be taking a break too, I had a lightbulb moment.  "Nana" I said with utmost firmness "you do realize that we get this from You?!" There was a short silence. "Get what from me?" She said with complete innocence.  "The taking on too much, the do it now, the I can do everything attitude!"  "Oh" she chuckled, "I guess."

Granted, this obviously hereditary issue didn't seem to hit me until about five years ago, but I've watched both my Mom and Nana deal with it my entire life.  G doesn't really seem to have it, yet he is the only person I know who can function at one hundred and ten percent on little to no sleep.  It's crazy.  Unfortunately, I don't think there's a cure for this problem and somehow all I've managed to do while writing this is create some weird anticipation of heading into my house and reorganizing my linen closet.  F. I really am becoming one of them.

Laundry Day

That's an understatement of course because every day is laundry day in my house.  This post is about one specific kind of laundry day: the day that Hunter's blanket is washed. If you've had a kid with a Blanket, I'm sure this is not new. And if you haven't, but plan to, here's something fun for you to look forward to.

After you finally get it out of their hands and insensitively ignore their pleas, tears and total heartbreak, they might look like this during the wash cycle.

Their eyes will become wide with anticipation when you pull it out. "Blanket!" They will say with their little arms stretched out. And then you will break their heart again when you pull it away and tell them it has to go into the dryer. And they might look like this.

Then, if your kid is both smart enough and strong enough (it's not a good thing where I'm headed) you may have to guard the dryer door so you can ensure the rest of the clothes also dry.  And it may look something like this.

All said though, that Blanket will probably dry fairly fast and doesn't actually need to stay in the dryer the whole time. Pay attention; ten minutes tops- you probably have to stand there anyway and it beats waiting for everything to dry. You will be able to take it out and make your kid look like this again. 

And that is priceless.

Project Video Game Acquisition Complete

Back at the beginning of July I saw an opportunity to make a compromise with Aaron.  He wanted to play a video game that we had told him he wasn't old enough to play.  However, it turned out that at more than one friend's place he was able to play it because those kids were allowed.  I realized I had a choice; either lose him to other people's homes or make him earn the ability to play it at home.  I chose the latter.

The beginning wasn't easy because he wrongly assumed that every good deed would earn him a letter in his game.  Then he thought that he could earn a letter every day for his good behaviour.  I held out for one letter over three days of more good behavior than bad and if he missed one (which he did - twice) then that day did not count.  I held my ground on this and yesterday after Geoff got home from work, the game was downloaded for him.  It was a remarkable day.

Aaron was able to rightfully play this game with his Dad and he was so excited.  When I called them for dinner, Aaron ate every morsel from his plate.  Geoff had seconds.  Apparently Geoff had told him they would resume playing after dinner and so Aaron sat and waited - patiently it seemed.  Aaron kept asking Geoff for a bite of his food.  "If you're hungry," Geoff replied, "go get some more." To which Aaron would say "No, I'm full."  Then he would ask for another bite.   I finally realized Aaron was attempting to hurry Geoff along.

"We're going to wait for Mom to finish" Geoff said to him.  Then Aaron sat and stared at me.  It was great.  "If you're bored, Aaron, you could start clearing the table" I told him.  He looked at me, then Geoff.  "Really?" He asked.  "If you don't, I have to" said Geoff.  So Aaron did it.  All of it.  Without so much as a complaint.  "Can we milk this?" I whispered to Geoff.  He just smiled, watching Aaron busy himself around the kitchen. They played a few more rounds together and then it was bedtime and everyone was happy.

This morning Aaron woke up with a headache and a tummy ache.  "Did you stay up late playing games?" I asked, a little accusingly.  "No..." he answered.  Yeah, I bet.  He's not grumpy at all for a kid who doesn't feel well so I'm assuming it's self-inflicted and he knows it's his own fault.  Funny thing is, he's not playing his game right now.  Hasn't even tried.  At this exact moment I'm starting to think that having the right to play his game is not nearly as thrilling as the excitement of earning that right.  What does that mean?

It means OOOOOOOH YEAH!  MOM is in the lead!! Feel the excitement! I was RIGHT!  I WON!!  (Fist pumps, and performs victory dance in private while silently singing "I am the champion")
~Feeling Stupendous

A (Belated) Introduction

I've been blogging for almost two months now and I only just realized that I wasn't posting to the communities I had sought out.  As of two minutes ago, I saw how to do this.  As I was looking through the categories, I noticed the Introductions and realized I had not introduced myself either.  So, belatedly, here it is :)

I am a married thirty-seven year old mom of four; Ocean, 11, Ethan, 10, Aaron, 7 and Hunter, 3. In April I graduated with my BA from the U of Calgary after four years of being a full-time student and part to full-time employee. Originally I returned to school with one goal - get my degree and then to law school. We had relocated the previous August (2012) and only took possession of our house on the 20th - I had a week to get the house in order before school started back up for the kids and for myself - and it didn't happen.


We had also moved the eldest kids from a French Immersion school to an English (and Catholic!) school and they needed a lot of help to catch up.  I found an amazing care-giver for Hunter so that was one bright, wonderful, guilt-free thing. 

During the past year, I realized that my spouse was out of the house for a lot of hours.  He left between 6:30 and 7:00 in the morning and returned anywhere between 5:00 and 7:00 at night.  I began to think "I can't work those hours..."  With all the additional help the kids needed each night from me, I was having difficulty keeping up with my own studies and life was just plain difficult. I should have applied to law school in October.  I couldn't see how I was going to manage the additional workload, so I didn't apply.  Fast-forward to April, 2013.


Looking for a new job wasn't going so well. Having been employed for the majority of my adult life (with some obvious gaps), I looked for work along the lines of my experience.  Turns out I should have taken a business degree - but I hadn't planned to use this one anyway.  Whoops.  The thing was that I didn't have enough experience - everyone wanted social media experience and I had painstakingly avoided that for four years. I had figured it would be difficult to find care for all four of my children during the summer so I had kind of decided to take the summer off anyway.

However, I opened a Twitter account, started using LinkedIn and reconnected with people on Facebook (I'm baaaack!).  Then I saw an ad for a dream job - assistant editor for a small newspaper  (and it turns out I also should have pursued that English degree - I took sociology with a criminology concentration and a philosophy minor - because that would have been good for LAW).  I reviewed the post, I had this, I had that... they wanted two years of blogging experience.  I was completely inexperienced for any job I had looked at.  Can you see ... frustrated?

I turned around and started a blog.  Then, Hunter's care-giver, the one he stumbled out of bed each morning and said "Can I go to Kerri's today?", amazing, wonderful Kerri, told me she was going back to school herself - and her last day would be the end of June.  Sigh.  I've been looking for that silver lining and I think I've found it - here.  I've always wanted to write and now I suppose this is the opportunity.  I've also started getting my home organized so I can concentrate on organizing my very busy life - it's been almost a year - and I'm blogging that along too at theorganizationevolution.blogspot.com. (I'm not proud of what it was - but I'm proud of what it's become- pictures, hideous to beautiful pictures) I'm also enjoying spending time with my kids.  I couldn't just relax after what I've been through - I refuse to stop...doing...something more. 

So that's me, an extremely long-winded introduction perhaps but succinct was never my forte - that's what I got Twitter for :).  Not sure if I plug that here too so: @DeirdresBA and @themomevolution and The Mom Evolution on Facebook pages.

Have a Little Faith Mom, Especially in Kids

Yesterday we went to the skate park.  Aaron has been interested in learning for a long time and finally got a board for his birthday this year.  He's been practicing his balance and he's definitely becoming more confident on it but we took his scooter instead because he has to keep one foot on the ground more often than not.  He actually got to go twice yesterday because my Mom took him after supper as well and that time he tried out his bike. 

Hunter didn't have anything to ride but he ran and ran and ran.  It was fairly quiet because we went over at 12:30 and my best guess is that the regular patrons (ahem) weren't out of bed yet.  At least, that would have been me at that age during summer holidays and I don't think much has changed.  There was only one other guy there, who drove over, and he practiced on his board.  It was helpful to see that he was practicing because we constantly have to remind Aaron that practice is what will help him get better.  My only complaint is that the guy didn't have a helmet - Mom.

Anyway, as I watched Aaron scoot along, I discovered the familiar, though not always welcome, feeling of "I want to do that too!"  I generally prefer to play rather than watch - except baseball.  I watched the Jays win the world series back in 1992 and I was on a baseball team once in grade five but as a general rule, it's the only game I cannot stand - bores me silly.  I can watch both football and hockey without an inkling of a desire to play either because I watch professional sports and well, as if I want to try and get into that mix.

Skateboarding though... well that looks like fun.  While we were there, aside from the one guy on a board, there was a couple of other boys who came over with their bikes.  They practiced in the ... uh, bowl? ... not up on lingo yet, but they did that (and I just Googled it - bowl it is).  So when Aaron finally decided to take a break, two hours later, he had seen both a boarder and some bikes.  When Mom took him back there later, he wanted to take his bike.

My only request was that he stay out of the "hole" (because I didn't think of bowl until this morning) and he agreed.  So Mom took him, thrilled to be the first one to let him use his bike there.  Now my Mom watches a lot of news.  The media can, and does, use shock value to get ratings - because that's what actually gets ratings.  We all know that bullying is a problem - if it's happening.  My Mom believes that every kid who is younger than eighteen is likely a bully. Check this out.

So Mom is walking the dog (her son, often referred to as mine and my sister's sibling but not accepted as such by either of us - he's not our dog) not far from the park but not exactly close either and notices that something had happened.  She had been "picking up dog (poo) at the time" but could see something was amiss.  Anyway, to her complete and total surprise, a bigger kid had gone straight over to Aaron (he had wiped out on the bike) and asked if he was okay.  This seemed perfectly reasonable to me but my Mom was shocked.And when she indicated as much, she says "Well you see it on the news all the time."

This is why I don't watch the news.  I know I need to keep up on things but that's why I have Twitter and why I have always preferred newspapers to network news: because I can read what I want to based on the headline.  The broadcasts are sensationalized due to the demand for ratings. Sure, there have been too many instances of bullying that the media blew up everyone's butts - but think about it - that's because kids helping out other kids on a daily basis doesn't bring the viewers in. 

Kids are not all bad.  Sure there's a few dipsticks out there, but there always was and there probably always will be.  I take my kids to the park to participate in their enjoyment, and be available in case something happened sure, but I don't expect something bad to happen.  I was scared of Scooby Doo type vans my entire childhood thanks to my Mom's irrational fear that inside each one lurked a child predator. 

Now I'm not saying that we don't have to make our children aware of potential dangers because that's going too far in the other direction.  What I am suggesting is that we talk with our kids.  "How was your day? How do you like your new friends? What do you do together? Do you know how to respond to a bully?" And choose our advice accordingly.  I'm no psychologist (as I've mentioned) but do you need to warn your kids to the point that they're scared of leaving the house?  No. Everyone is a stranger before they become a friend (or husband) - think how the human race would fare if we didn't recognize that.  Good people are lurking around every corner too.  We need to have some faith in humanity, most especially in kids. 

Vocabulary Building - Curse Words

Do you remember when you learned your first curse words?  Personally, I was quite "in the know" while I was attending daycare.  I vividly recall standing in a small circle with two or three others, away from the rest of the kids, while we went through all the words we knew.  So - that would make me about four or five years old and my friends as well - it was daycare.

Original Artwork

My extended family was helpful in giving me an early education.  My one Uncle had a preferred saying while he was working on his motor bike.  He said "F'n B" (in its entirety) a lot and  I picked it up.  And according to the stories my mother tells, my great Aunt was a bit of a ... hmmm, how to put this... ah, she was a "pot stirrer". 

My great Aunt used to try to make me drop the F-bomb in public.  Much to her satisfaction I would eventually oblige just to get her to stop asking me to say it.  So I know exactly where I managed to build my vocabulary for curse words and like any community-minded individual, I shared this knowledge with other children at daycare and they in turn shared with me.

Those memories of sharing with other kids don't really help when your own little angels start throwing these words out randomly.  I don't think I've heard either O or E use them, but they're ten and eleven - I'm pretty sure they know a good deal of curse words; after all, they went to daycare (yes, I totally associate daycare with learning curse words).  No, the one who's used them most in my presence and other's is Aaron, who is seven, who has definitely taught Hunter, who is three. 

The first time I heard of Aaron using it was, surprise, surprise: at his dayhome.  He and his bff, another little boy, were apparently dishing out "you're such a little B" "no you're a little B" "no you are" when they were busted by the caregiver.  Again, we had a chat about appropriate language use via situational context but that hasn't seemed to go far with him.

Now I'm not saying Aaron is the sole educator but the few times Hunter has blessed us with a jaw-dropping gem, Aaron was the only one he was with prior to the bomb (and since O and E have been away the last week, Hunter's picked up a new one - the compound "A" word. You do the math).

I took a cue from my brother-in-law on the kids using curse words.  He has the position that the kids are going to learn them and they're going to say them so his idea is to educate them about when and where it is appropriate to use them; "in context, and not in front of your Mom/Grandma/Aunt".  I get this since I used them at a young age and aside from the times these came out at the behest of my great Aunt, or in frustration at a doctor's office (any mother's proudest moment), once I was old enough I was taught that I shouldn't use them in front of my family.

I realize there are some kids wouldn't dream of using them - like those lucky homeschoolers who have zero interaction with the outside world. Have you seen Blast From the Past?  It's an extremely amusing take on a child being influenced only by his parents.  Aside from it being super funny, it makes you realize what a difference it would make if we were able to be the sole influence in our children's lives.

Hunter doesn't tend to swear really; his word is "stupid" and I hate it.  Since we've made such a big deal about it, he says it often - mostly when he's mad at me so I know he's doing it on purpose.  When he dropped the F-bomb, we said nothing - of course, the shock hardly allowed for words at that point.  He hasn't said it again (to my knowledge). 

I don't usually ask for comments (though they are welcome!), but I'm curious - is it just me and my experiences thinking this is totally normal?  I know the majority of my readers come from Facebook and you might need a Google+ account to comment here, but really - is it just me???

Oh My Gosh, What a Sunday!

Good morning, fabulous holiday Monday morning!  These are seriously my absolute, most favourite days - but this one feels even better than they usually do.  Why?  Because yesterday I was able to spend the whole day doing things I wanted to do.  Why?  Because I worked my tail off the whole week and there was NOT ONE pressing thing I had to do yesterday. 

There was one surprising small hot chocolate spill (gee, Hunter maybe?) but it was wiped up in a flash.  There was no laundry because I finished it on Saturday.  I swished and swiped in the bathrooms when I was in there but there was nothing dire.  People, I had a real day off! And now, on this glorious holiday Monday morning, I, once again, have nothing pressing aside from the blog.  I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to my second day off!! 

My mom-and-dad-in-law are stopping by today on their way through town, and I'm ready.  We had no dinner dishes last night because we treated ourselves to dinner out.  Actually, that was more from a lack of planning because apparently no one wanted the ribs from the other night and I hadn't taken anything else out. Meh, it happens.

So we hopped in the car and headed out.  We actually don't do this often because Hunter can hardly sit at our own table for a prolonged period of time but once in a while, we try it anyway because he has to learn.  Well, I think I can say he's evolving, though I'm not sure if I'm proud of it or not.  Aaron of course is fine because he's seven.  However, as a baby, he would sit in his highchair at mealtime - he loved it.  Hunter hated it.  We shall see.

Anyway, Hunter is definitely not afraid to demand attention.  Most three-year-old's are not I guess, but this is the first time he demanded it of someone else to the point of minor embarrassment.  I suppose we can give the kid some credit for understanding the whole "server gets everything for you" idea.  We had ordered drinks and the kids' came in tiny kid cups.  They both opted for chocolate milk.  We were otherwise occupied I guess because not long after we heard the "sluuuuurp" as Hunter finished his.  Whoops. 

We didn't think much of it because dinner was definitely going to be a bit yet.  Aaron and I were doing his kid's sheet crossword and Geoff was reading a paper.  Hunter had been colouring as well but he got our, and the hostess' attention when he stood up and yelled "Scuse me! Can I have some more chocolate milk?" It wasn't busy in the restaurant so we only had red faces for the hostess.  We hushed Hunter but really, he got it right.  Why ask Mom and Dad?  They don't get the chocolate milk at the restaurant.

When our dinners arrived, Hunter looked at his plate of chicken fingers and fries with utter disappointment.  I noticed this and wasn't sure why - it's exactly what he ordered.  He was staring at it and Geoff, who was sitting beside him, saw why; a cup of sweet and sour sauce.  Hunter doesn't use it and apparently was unimpressed that something he hadn't asked for came with his meal.  We removed the offending cup and all was well.  We started eating and the server came by to ask how everything was.  It was great, thank you.  She was walking away and Hunter (who had not said anything at the time due to a full mouth) yells "I like mine too!" 

Now at the time, it was like, Oh my gosh Hunter! Stop yelling at them!  But having sat on it for a bit I've actually come to another conclusion.  Hunter was being a customer.  When no one came by to see if our drinks were okay, (and why would they? It had only been about eight minutes) he asked for one.  When she came by to see how our meals were, and most everyone does this, she only waited for our reply.  Hunter felt slighted.

Strangely enough, now, I'm proud of the little guy because he showed a real sign of getting bigger: his opinion matters.  He showed an understanding of the whole process and also that he wanted to be involved with it.  Pretty cool, little man, pretty cool.

And We're Off to the Rodeo!

Actually it was more like the midway at the rodeo.  Aaron and Hunter were bouncing off the walls by the time we finally decided to get moving - out of the house that is.  I finally freed the clutter beasts from Ethan's room and Geoff dug up the last of the "stairs" on the side of the house in the back yard.  A and H were pretty good considering but they were definitely ready to get out by 7:00pm. 

We aren't... wait, I'm not "a little bit country".  Geoff has been in the past so he owns a hat.  I worked in a country bar a couple of times and had a hat that I guess I eventually allowed the dust bunnies to run away with.  It really belonged to them anyway by then.  Now that I'm living in an area that lets its old west heritage loose once in a while, I feel like I need at least one outfit to show my western pride.  And why not? I have about eight different outfits for golf and I've only been once a year for the past two years.  However, golf outfits are super cute.  I digress.

So we headed out to the midway after asking repeatedly if the kids were hungry, knowing full well that they would be as soon as we arrived anyway.  For the second time in as many days, my good intentions to stick to my "diet" were out the window (not a real diet if you're just tuning in, just stuff I'm supposed to avoid in case I actually have acid reflux; read: anything at the fair grounds is probably fighting to be at the top of that list).  And Geoff was helpful as well in as many days, texting me "Bud or Heineken?" when he was out.  I chose Heineken.  Not that we felt like having one after returning home so that worked out - yesterday.

But back to the midway.  We arrived and were standing in line at the gate behind a bunch of teens who were probably looking forward to kicking it up for the night.  An extremely generous dude with an official-looking badge asked if we were just going to go to the midway.  We said yes and he let us in the side that doesn't have to pay.  Well Yahoo!  Off to a shining start!  We headed for the rides, passing a sign that said "Monster Truck Rides $8.00".  I drew Geoff's attention to it.  I'm not sure who wanted the ride more, him or the boys.  They all went. I headed back for mini-donuts. 

In this small Southern AB town, the rodeo itself is the highlight.  The midway is there for the very few individuals who aren't coming to see the rodeo so it's not especially big.  There were only two rides that Hunter didn't need an adult for. I got the lucky first take on an adult needed one; the Tilt-a-Whirl.  I used to love the rides. 

One year, when I was Miss. Hometown, my gf and I went to the Ponoka Stampede, paid for I believe by the mayor of my hometown and I think they even gave us a ride as well.  Anyhow, I still wasn't much for the rodeo then and my gf and I rode the rides.  It wasn't very busy that day and the guy at the Zipper told us we could stay on.  We must have ridden that thing for an hour straight.  I guess a Miss. Hometown sash does wonders for free rides.  Afterwards, we headed for the Spider.  That's when it hit me.  Too much movement.  I threw up before it stopped and I haven't been good on rides since.

Back to the present.  The Tilt-a-Whirl didn't look so bad.  By this time, I had eaten an entire bag of cotton candy, mini donuts, a hot dog, French fries with gravy and onion rings with gravy.  When Aaron and Hunter got to the gate, the ride master told me I had to go too.  "You're not going to make me pay for this are you?" I said to him as I passed him the TEN tickets for the boys to go on. I was really thinking about the possibility of my getting sick. It didn't seem right to be charged for that type of excitement.

You know how these guys aren't really the chatty sort unless you're some leggy teen in a tube top?  Well he muttered something and took my tickets and I headed into a "car" with the boys.  Aaron had just been on it with another kid who apparently wanted to go again also so we climbed in with him.

These things work better with more people.  I had forgotten that before we got on.  Anyhow, so off we went and when that thing spun I was like HOLY CRAP!!  My stomach just turned a little at the memory.  And again, when it's not that busy, they seem to allow you to ride for longer.  At one point I wondered if the ride master was tormenting me on purpose since I refused to pay as a chaperone.  I swear I've never seen those cars move like mine did.  I just kept praying that I wasn't going to hurl.

Finally the demonic ride master slowed the damn thing to a stop and we were able to get off.  The boys wanted to go again but I told them we had to wait for Geoff to return - there was no way I could have gone again without covering us in vomit.   Geoff returned and the boys asked for another shot at the Tilt-a-Whirl but he turned them towards the rides Hunter could go on without us.  Smarty pants. 

Aaron headed to the Ferris Wheel and lucked out with a camera shy blond girl for a companion.  As they were going up and up Geoff returned with Hunter and showed him where Aaron was.  They were pausing closer to the top at this point and Hunter says "I want him to come down. Now."

That was cute.  They all took another ride on the monster truck and I held back again.  Granted I'd never seen a monster truck ... anything, but riding in the back of one seems like a dumbass thing to do.  I watched though, you could tell the driver knew how to not make the thing flip over.  Still.  I bought another bag of mini-donuts. 

We figured that was good enough for the night.  We'd been there for three hours and managed to spend $160.  How that was even possible is beyond me.  Though, $40 for monster truck rides adds up.  The boys were happy, I hadn't puked, and we were fairly tired out.  Aaron and Hunter danced all the way home because they were high on sugar and fun times.  Geoff and I were absolutely finished.  There's a reason these things only come once a year; parents just can't handle themselves.