Apologies Are Best Served Unordered

Unordered does not seem like it should be a word but spellcheck is leaving it alone and it's the word I wanted so I will let it be.  If you've been following along, I've made a grand attempt at reorganizing my home so that I may enjoy some sort of organization in other areas of my life.  I've been lucky because everyone (who's been here) in my house seems to be on board.  Ocean and Ethan are coming back this afternoon but I don't see too many issues there - I've kept on the other boys, I can get Ethan too.

Aaron has been an absolute darling since he was able to play his game; so I don't really chalk it up to the fact that he likes the house now but it's still a remarkable improvement.  When I call him, for anything, he answers straight away.  When I ask him to do something, he does it.  And I've had to ask.  "Where does your hoodie belong?" He puts it away. "Where do your plates belong?" He puts them away.  I've said it before, I don't mind reminding them so long as they do it - and I've been getting it done without complaint.


Last night Hunter had taken a container of cereal into the living room (and Geoff was right there - not impressed) and spilled some on the floor.  I had to pause their movie to get it picked up but I did it. I'm becoming really adamant about that stuff now that the place is pre-tidy.  Geoff, obviously realizing his place in this moment, came over to do it and I told him not to and Hunter, seeing this, said "You pick it up Dad" (!! - Nana picked up after me, I picked up after my kids and it doesn't do any good - I'm speaking from experience here!).  Hunter did pick the stray pieces of cereal up - with his toes.  I said nothing because I don't care how you do it, just do it.  He eventually used his hands because he accidentally spilled the container twice while using his toes. Obviously, that cereal hit the trash but it was old anyway and I guess I'd forgotten it was in the cupboard. 

Every morning and night when Hunter takes off clothes I ask him where they go. "In the laundry basket" he says and puts them there.  He has no issues running around naked so sometimes I find the clothes in weird places: the hallway, the kitchen, on the stairs.  I call him and ask where his clothes go - and he puts them away.  I also try to get them to put shoes away to keep the entryway clear.  So far, so good.

This morning Hunter was snacking on Life cereal.  He had taken a fistful out and of course some dropped on the floor.  I was in the kitchen, had noticed this, and figured I would ask him to pick them up after I was finished with whatever I was doing.  Then he came in after a few minutes and said "I'm sorry Mom for mumble, mumble, mumble." I bent down. "What are you sorry for?" "I'm sorry for getting cereal on the floor" he said.  Well doesn't that just warm your heart! "You don't have to be sorry" I said with a hug and a smile,  "just come in and pick it up."  And he did.

The most amazing feeling in the world is when you see your kids doing something so well - and you know it's because of something you said or did.  I felt amazing when he apologized because he was not only aware of the fact that he had left the cereal on the floor, but also that he shouldn't have left it on the floor - that kid makes me think there's hope for all the boys.  And has also given me the motivation to continue with my housework today because before I put this all down, I didn't want to do a darned thing.  Now I'll go organize something because apparently, even the little guy appreciates it. :)

Project Video Game Acquisition Complete

Back at the beginning of July I saw an opportunity to make a compromise with Aaron.  He wanted to play a video game that we had told him he wasn't old enough to play.  However, it turned out that at more than one friend's place he was able to play it because those kids were allowed.  I realized I had a choice; either lose him to other people's homes or make him earn the ability to play it at home.  I chose the latter.

The beginning wasn't easy because he wrongly assumed that every good deed would earn him a letter in his game.  Then he thought that he could earn a letter every day for his good behaviour.  I held out for one letter over three days of more good behavior than bad and if he missed one (which he did - twice) then that day did not count.  I held my ground on this and yesterday after Geoff got home from work, the game was downloaded for him.  It was a remarkable day.

Aaron was able to rightfully play this game with his Dad and he was so excited.  When I called them for dinner, Aaron ate every morsel from his plate.  Geoff had seconds.  Apparently Geoff had told him they would resume playing after dinner and so Aaron sat and waited - patiently it seemed.  Aaron kept asking Geoff for a bite of his food.  "If you're hungry," Geoff replied, "go get some more." To which Aaron would say "No, I'm full."  Then he would ask for another bite.   I finally realized Aaron was attempting to hurry Geoff along.

"We're going to wait for Mom to finish" Geoff said to him.  Then Aaron sat and stared at me.  It was great.  "If you're bored, Aaron, you could start clearing the table" I told him.  He looked at me, then Geoff.  "Really?" He asked.  "If you don't, I have to" said Geoff.  So Aaron did it.  All of it.  Without so much as a complaint.  "Can we milk this?" I whispered to Geoff.  He just smiled, watching Aaron busy himself around the kitchen. They played a few more rounds together and then it was bedtime and everyone was happy.

This morning Aaron woke up with a headache and a tummy ache.  "Did you stay up late playing games?" I asked, a little accusingly.  "No..." he answered.  Yeah, I bet.  He's not grumpy at all for a kid who doesn't feel well so I'm assuming it's self-inflicted and he knows it's his own fault.  Funny thing is, he's not playing his game right now.  Hasn't even tried.  At this exact moment I'm starting to think that having the right to play his game is not nearly as thrilling as the excitement of earning that right.  What does that mean?

It means OOOOOOOH YEAH!  MOM is in the lead!! Feel the excitement! I was RIGHT!  I WON!!  (Fist pumps, and performs victory dance in private while silently singing "I am the champion")
~Feeling Stupendous

Have a Little Faith Mom, Especially in Kids

Yesterday we went to the skate park.  Aaron has been interested in learning for a long time and finally got a board for his birthday this year.  He's been practicing his balance and he's definitely becoming more confident on it but we took his scooter instead because he has to keep one foot on the ground more often than not.  He actually got to go twice yesterday because my Mom took him after supper as well and that time he tried out his bike. 

Hunter didn't have anything to ride but he ran and ran and ran.  It was fairly quiet because we went over at 12:30 and my best guess is that the regular patrons (ahem) weren't out of bed yet.  At least, that would have been me at that age during summer holidays and I don't think much has changed.  There was only one other guy there, who drove over, and he practiced on his board.  It was helpful to see that he was practicing because we constantly have to remind Aaron that practice is what will help him get better.  My only complaint is that the guy didn't have a helmet - Mom.

Anyway, as I watched Aaron scoot along, I discovered the familiar, though not always welcome, feeling of "I want to do that too!"  I generally prefer to play rather than watch - except baseball.  I watched the Jays win the world series back in 1992 and I was on a baseball team once in grade five but as a general rule, it's the only game I cannot stand - bores me silly.  I can watch both football and hockey without an inkling of a desire to play either because I watch professional sports and well, as if I want to try and get into that mix.

Skateboarding though... well that looks like fun.  While we were there, aside from the one guy on a board, there was a couple of other boys who came over with their bikes.  They practiced in the ... uh, bowl? ... not up on lingo yet, but they did that (and I just Googled it - bowl it is).  So when Aaron finally decided to take a break, two hours later, he had seen both a boarder and some bikes.  When Mom took him back there later, he wanted to take his bike.

My only request was that he stay out of the "hole" (because I didn't think of bowl until this morning) and he agreed.  So Mom took him, thrilled to be the first one to let him use his bike there.  Now my Mom watches a lot of news.  The media can, and does, use shock value to get ratings - because that's what actually gets ratings.  We all know that bullying is a problem - if it's happening.  My Mom believes that every kid who is younger than eighteen is likely a bully. Check this out.

So Mom is walking the dog (her son, often referred to as mine and my sister's sibling but not accepted as such by either of us - he's not our dog) not far from the park but not exactly close either and notices that something had happened.  She had been "picking up dog (poo) at the time" but could see something was amiss.  Anyway, to her complete and total surprise, a bigger kid had gone straight over to Aaron (he had wiped out on the bike) and asked if he was okay.  This seemed perfectly reasonable to me but my Mom was shocked.And when she indicated as much, she says "Well you see it on the news all the time."

This is why I don't watch the news.  I know I need to keep up on things but that's why I have Twitter and why I have always preferred newspapers to network news: because I can read what I want to based on the headline.  The broadcasts are sensationalized due to the demand for ratings. Sure, there have been too many instances of bullying that the media blew up everyone's butts - but think about it - that's because kids helping out other kids on a daily basis doesn't bring the viewers in. 

Kids are not all bad.  Sure there's a few dipsticks out there, but there always was and there probably always will be.  I take my kids to the park to participate in their enjoyment, and be available in case something happened sure, but I don't expect something bad to happen.  I was scared of Scooby Doo type vans my entire childhood thanks to my Mom's irrational fear that inside each one lurked a child predator. 

Now I'm not saying that we don't have to make our children aware of potential dangers because that's going too far in the other direction.  What I am suggesting is that we talk with our kids.  "How was your day? How do you like your new friends? What do you do together? Do you know how to respond to a bully?" And choose our advice accordingly.  I'm no psychologist (as I've mentioned) but do you need to warn your kids to the point that they're scared of leaving the house?  No. Everyone is a stranger before they become a friend (or husband) - think how the human race would fare if we didn't recognize that.  Good people are lurking around every corner too.  We need to have some faith in humanity, most especially in kids.