Laundry Day

That's an understatement of course because every day is laundry day in my house.  This post is about one specific kind of laundry day: the day that Hunter's blanket is washed. If you've had a kid with a Blanket, I'm sure this is not new. And if you haven't, but plan to, here's something fun for you to look forward to.

After you finally get it out of their hands and insensitively ignore their pleas, tears and total heartbreak, they might look like this during the wash cycle.

Their eyes will become wide with anticipation when you pull it out. "Blanket!" They will say with their little arms stretched out. And then you will break their heart again when you pull it away and tell them it has to go into the dryer. And they might look like this.

Then, if your kid is both smart enough and strong enough (it's not a good thing where I'm headed) you may have to guard the dryer door so you can ensure the rest of the clothes also dry.  And it may look something like this.

All said though, that Blanket will probably dry fairly fast and doesn't actually need to stay in the dryer the whole time. Pay attention; ten minutes tops- you probably have to stand there anyway and it beats waiting for everything to dry. You will be able to take it out and make your kid look like this again. 

And that is priceless.

Project Video Game Acquisition Complete

Back at the beginning of July I saw an opportunity to make a compromise with Aaron.  He wanted to play a video game that we had told him he wasn't old enough to play.  However, it turned out that at more than one friend's place he was able to play it because those kids were allowed.  I realized I had a choice; either lose him to other people's homes or make him earn the ability to play it at home.  I chose the latter.

The beginning wasn't easy because he wrongly assumed that every good deed would earn him a letter in his game.  Then he thought that he could earn a letter every day for his good behaviour.  I held out for one letter over three days of more good behavior than bad and if he missed one (which he did - twice) then that day did not count.  I held my ground on this and yesterday after Geoff got home from work, the game was downloaded for him.  It was a remarkable day.

Aaron was able to rightfully play this game with his Dad and he was so excited.  When I called them for dinner, Aaron ate every morsel from his plate.  Geoff had seconds.  Apparently Geoff had told him they would resume playing after dinner and so Aaron sat and waited - patiently it seemed.  Aaron kept asking Geoff for a bite of his food.  "If you're hungry," Geoff replied, "go get some more." To which Aaron would say "No, I'm full."  Then he would ask for another bite.   I finally realized Aaron was attempting to hurry Geoff along.

"We're going to wait for Mom to finish" Geoff said to him.  Then Aaron sat and stared at me.  It was great.  "If you're bored, Aaron, you could start clearing the table" I told him.  He looked at me, then Geoff.  "Really?" He asked.  "If you don't, I have to" said Geoff.  So Aaron did it.  All of it.  Without so much as a complaint.  "Can we milk this?" I whispered to Geoff.  He just smiled, watching Aaron busy himself around the kitchen. They played a few more rounds together and then it was bedtime and everyone was happy.

This morning Aaron woke up with a headache and a tummy ache.  "Did you stay up late playing games?" I asked, a little accusingly.  "No..." he answered.  Yeah, I bet.  He's not grumpy at all for a kid who doesn't feel well so I'm assuming it's self-inflicted and he knows it's his own fault.  Funny thing is, he's not playing his game right now.  Hasn't even tried.  At this exact moment I'm starting to think that having the right to play his game is not nearly as thrilling as the excitement of earning that right.  What does that mean?

It means OOOOOOOH YEAH!  MOM is in the lead!! Feel the excitement! I was RIGHT!  I WON!!  (Fist pumps, and performs victory dance in private while silently singing "I am the champion")
~Feeling Stupendous

A (Belated) Introduction

I've been blogging for almost two months now and I only just realized that I wasn't posting to the communities I had sought out.  As of two minutes ago, I saw how to do this.  As I was looking through the categories, I noticed the Introductions and realized I had not introduced myself either.  So, belatedly, here it is :)

I am a married thirty-seven year old mom of four; Ocean, 11, Ethan, 10, Aaron, 7 and Hunter, 3. In April I graduated with my BA from the U of Calgary after four years of being a full-time student and part to full-time employee. Originally I returned to school with one goal - get my degree and then to law school. We had relocated the previous August (2012) and only took possession of our house on the 20th - I had a week to get the house in order before school started back up for the kids and for myself - and it didn't happen.


We had also moved the eldest kids from a French Immersion school to an English (and Catholic!) school and they needed a lot of help to catch up.  I found an amazing care-giver for Hunter so that was one bright, wonderful, guilt-free thing. 

During the past year, I realized that my spouse was out of the house for a lot of hours.  He left between 6:30 and 7:00 in the morning and returned anywhere between 5:00 and 7:00 at night.  I began to think "I can't work those hours..."  With all the additional help the kids needed each night from me, I was having difficulty keeping up with my own studies and life was just plain difficult. I should have applied to law school in October.  I couldn't see how I was going to manage the additional workload, so I didn't apply.  Fast-forward to April, 2013.


Looking for a new job wasn't going so well. Having been employed for the majority of my adult life (with some obvious gaps), I looked for work along the lines of my experience.  Turns out I should have taken a business degree - but I hadn't planned to use this one anyway.  Whoops.  The thing was that I didn't have enough experience - everyone wanted social media experience and I had painstakingly avoided that for four years. I had figured it would be difficult to find care for all four of my children during the summer so I had kind of decided to take the summer off anyway.

However, I opened a Twitter account, started using LinkedIn and reconnected with people on Facebook (I'm baaaack!).  Then I saw an ad for a dream job - assistant editor for a small newspaper  (and it turns out I also should have pursued that English degree - I took sociology with a criminology concentration and a philosophy minor - because that would have been good for LAW).  I reviewed the post, I had this, I had that... they wanted two years of blogging experience.  I was completely inexperienced for any job I had looked at.  Can you see ... frustrated?

I turned around and started a blog.  Then, Hunter's care-giver, the one he stumbled out of bed each morning and said "Can I go to Kerri's today?", amazing, wonderful Kerri, told me she was going back to school herself - and her last day would be the end of June.  Sigh.  I've been looking for that silver lining and I think I've found it - here.  I've always wanted to write and now I suppose this is the opportunity.  I've also started getting my home organized so I can concentrate on organizing my very busy life - it's been almost a year - and I'm blogging that along too at theorganizationevolution.blogspot.com. (I'm not proud of what it was - but I'm proud of what it's become- pictures, hideous to beautiful pictures) I'm also enjoying spending time with my kids.  I couldn't just relax after what I've been through - I refuse to stop...doing...something more. 

So that's me, an extremely long-winded introduction perhaps but succinct was never my forte - that's what I got Twitter for :).  Not sure if I plug that here too so: @DeirdresBA and @themomevolution and The Mom Evolution on Facebook pages.

Have a Little Faith Mom, Especially in Kids

Yesterday we went to the skate park.  Aaron has been interested in learning for a long time and finally got a board for his birthday this year.  He's been practicing his balance and he's definitely becoming more confident on it but we took his scooter instead because he has to keep one foot on the ground more often than not.  He actually got to go twice yesterday because my Mom took him after supper as well and that time he tried out his bike. 

Hunter didn't have anything to ride but he ran and ran and ran.  It was fairly quiet because we went over at 12:30 and my best guess is that the regular patrons (ahem) weren't out of bed yet.  At least, that would have been me at that age during summer holidays and I don't think much has changed.  There was only one other guy there, who drove over, and he practiced on his board.  It was helpful to see that he was practicing because we constantly have to remind Aaron that practice is what will help him get better.  My only complaint is that the guy didn't have a helmet - Mom.

Anyway, as I watched Aaron scoot along, I discovered the familiar, though not always welcome, feeling of "I want to do that too!"  I generally prefer to play rather than watch - except baseball.  I watched the Jays win the world series back in 1992 and I was on a baseball team once in grade five but as a general rule, it's the only game I cannot stand - bores me silly.  I can watch both football and hockey without an inkling of a desire to play either because I watch professional sports and well, as if I want to try and get into that mix.

Skateboarding though... well that looks like fun.  While we were there, aside from the one guy on a board, there was a couple of other boys who came over with their bikes.  They practiced in the ... uh, bowl? ... not up on lingo yet, but they did that (and I just Googled it - bowl it is).  So when Aaron finally decided to take a break, two hours later, he had seen both a boarder and some bikes.  When Mom took him back there later, he wanted to take his bike.

My only request was that he stay out of the "hole" (because I didn't think of bowl until this morning) and he agreed.  So Mom took him, thrilled to be the first one to let him use his bike there.  Now my Mom watches a lot of news.  The media can, and does, use shock value to get ratings - because that's what actually gets ratings.  We all know that bullying is a problem - if it's happening.  My Mom believes that every kid who is younger than eighteen is likely a bully. Check this out.

So Mom is walking the dog (her son, often referred to as mine and my sister's sibling but not accepted as such by either of us - he's not our dog) not far from the park but not exactly close either and notices that something had happened.  She had been "picking up dog (poo) at the time" but could see something was amiss.  Anyway, to her complete and total surprise, a bigger kid had gone straight over to Aaron (he had wiped out on the bike) and asked if he was okay.  This seemed perfectly reasonable to me but my Mom was shocked.And when she indicated as much, she says "Well you see it on the news all the time."

This is why I don't watch the news.  I know I need to keep up on things but that's why I have Twitter and why I have always preferred newspapers to network news: because I can read what I want to based on the headline.  The broadcasts are sensationalized due to the demand for ratings. Sure, there have been too many instances of bullying that the media blew up everyone's butts - but think about it - that's because kids helping out other kids on a daily basis doesn't bring the viewers in. 

Kids are not all bad.  Sure there's a few dipsticks out there, but there always was and there probably always will be.  I take my kids to the park to participate in their enjoyment, and be available in case something happened sure, but I don't expect something bad to happen.  I was scared of Scooby Doo type vans my entire childhood thanks to my Mom's irrational fear that inside each one lurked a child predator. 

Now I'm not saying that we don't have to make our children aware of potential dangers because that's going too far in the other direction.  What I am suggesting is that we talk with our kids.  "How was your day? How do you like your new friends? What do you do together? Do you know how to respond to a bully?" And choose our advice accordingly.  I'm no psychologist (as I've mentioned) but do you need to warn your kids to the point that they're scared of leaving the house?  No. Everyone is a stranger before they become a friend (or husband) - think how the human race would fare if we didn't recognize that.  Good people are lurking around every corner too.  We need to have some faith in humanity, most especially in kids. 

Vocabulary Building - Curse Words

Do you remember when you learned your first curse words?  Personally, I was quite "in the know" while I was attending daycare.  I vividly recall standing in a small circle with two or three others, away from the rest of the kids, while we went through all the words we knew.  So - that would make me about four or five years old and my friends as well - it was daycare.

Original Artwork

My extended family was helpful in giving me an early education.  My one Uncle had a preferred saying while he was working on his motor bike.  He said "F'n B" (in its entirety) a lot and  I picked it up.  And according to the stories my mother tells, my great Aunt was a bit of a ... hmmm, how to put this... ah, she was a "pot stirrer". 

My great Aunt used to try to make me drop the F-bomb in public.  Much to her satisfaction I would eventually oblige just to get her to stop asking me to say it.  So I know exactly where I managed to build my vocabulary for curse words and like any community-minded individual, I shared this knowledge with other children at daycare and they in turn shared with me.

Those memories of sharing with other kids don't really help when your own little angels start throwing these words out randomly.  I don't think I've heard either O or E use them, but they're ten and eleven - I'm pretty sure they know a good deal of curse words; after all, they went to daycare (yes, I totally associate daycare with learning curse words).  No, the one who's used them most in my presence and other's is Aaron, who is seven, who has definitely taught Hunter, who is three. 

The first time I heard of Aaron using it was, surprise, surprise: at his dayhome.  He and his bff, another little boy, were apparently dishing out "you're such a little B" "no you're a little B" "no you are" when they were busted by the caregiver.  Again, we had a chat about appropriate language use via situational context but that hasn't seemed to go far with him.

Now I'm not saying Aaron is the sole educator but the few times Hunter has blessed us with a jaw-dropping gem, Aaron was the only one he was with prior to the bomb (and since O and E have been away the last week, Hunter's picked up a new one - the compound "A" word. You do the math).

I took a cue from my brother-in-law on the kids using curse words.  He has the position that the kids are going to learn them and they're going to say them so his idea is to educate them about when and where it is appropriate to use them; "in context, and not in front of your Mom/Grandma/Aunt".  I get this since I used them at a young age and aside from the times these came out at the behest of my great Aunt, or in frustration at a doctor's office (any mother's proudest moment), once I was old enough I was taught that I shouldn't use them in front of my family.

I realize there are some kids wouldn't dream of using them - like those lucky homeschoolers who have zero interaction with the outside world. Have you seen Blast From the Past?  It's an extremely amusing take on a child being influenced only by his parents.  Aside from it being super funny, it makes you realize what a difference it would make if we were able to be the sole influence in our children's lives.

Hunter doesn't tend to swear really; his word is "stupid" and I hate it.  Since we've made such a big deal about it, he says it often - mostly when he's mad at me so I know he's doing it on purpose.  When he dropped the F-bomb, we said nothing - of course, the shock hardly allowed for words at that point.  He hasn't said it again (to my knowledge). 

I don't usually ask for comments (though they are welcome!), but I'm curious - is it just me and my experiences thinking this is totally normal?  I know the majority of my readers come from Facebook and you might need a Google+ account to comment here, but really - is it just me???

Oh My Gosh, What a Sunday!

Good morning, fabulous holiday Monday morning!  These are seriously my absolute, most favourite days - but this one feels even better than they usually do.  Why?  Because yesterday I was able to spend the whole day doing things I wanted to do.  Why?  Because I worked my tail off the whole week and there was NOT ONE pressing thing I had to do yesterday. 

There was one surprising small hot chocolate spill (gee, Hunter maybe?) but it was wiped up in a flash.  There was no laundry because I finished it on Saturday.  I swished and swiped in the bathrooms when I was in there but there was nothing dire.  People, I had a real day off! And now, on this glorious holiday Monday morning, I, once again, have nothing pressing aside from the blog.  I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to my second day off!! 

My mom-and-dad-in-law are stopping by today on their way through town, and I'm ready.  We had no dinner dishes last night because we treated ourselves to dinner out.  Actually, that was more from a lack of planning because apparently no one wanted the ribs from the other night and I hadn't taken anything else out. Meh, it happens.

So we hopped in the car and headed out.  We actually don't do this often because Hunter can hardly sit at our own table for a prolonged period of time but once in a while, we try it anyway because he has to learn.  Well, I think I can say he's evolving, though I'm not sure if I'm proud of it or not.  Aaron of course is fine because he's seven.  However, as a baby, he would sit in his highchair at mealtime - he loved it.  Hunter hated it.  We shall see.

Anyway, Hunter is definitely not afraid to demand attention.  Most three-year-old's are not I guess, but this is the first time he demanded it of someone else to the point of minor embarrassment.  I suppose we can give the kid some credit for understanding the whole "server gets everything for you" idea.  We had ordered drinks and the kids' came in tiny kid cups.  They both opted for chocolate milk.  We were otherwise occupied I guess because not long after we heard the "sluuuuurp" as Hunter finished his.  Whoops. 

We didn't think much of it because dinner was definitely going to be a bit yet.  Aaron and I were doing his kid's sheet crossword and Geoff was reading a paper.  Hunter had been colouring as well but he got our, and the hostess' attention when he stood up and yelled "Scuse me! Can I have some more chocolate milk?" It wasn't busy in the restaurant so we only had red faces for the hostess.  We hushed Hunter but really, he got it right.  Why ask Mom and Dad?  They don't get the chocolate milk at the restaurant.

When our dinners arrived, Hunter looked at his plate of chicken fingers and fries with utter disappointment.  I noticed this and wasn't sure why - it's exactly what he ordered.  He was staring at it and Geoff, who was sitting beside him, saw why; a cup of sweet and sour sauce.  Hunter doesn't use it and apparently was unimpressed that something he hadn't asked for came with his meal.  We removed the offending cup and all was well.  We started eating and the server came by to ask how everything was.  It was great, thank you.  She was walking away and Hunter (who had not said anything at the time due to a full mouth) yells "I like mine too!" 

Now at the time, it was like, Oh my gosh Hunter! Stop yelling at them!  But having sat on it for a bit I've actually come to another conclusion.  Hunter was being a customer.  When no one came by to see if our drinks were okay, (and why would they? It had only been about eight minutes) he asked for one.  When she came by to see how our meals were, and most everyone does this, she only waited for our reply.  Hunter felt slighted.

Strangely enough, now, I'm proud of the little guy because he showed a real sign of getting bigger: his opinion matters.  He showed an understanding of the whole process and also that he wanted to be involved with it.  Pretty cool, little man, pretty cool.

And We're Off to the Rodeo!

Actually it was more like the midway at the rodeo.  Aaron and Hunter were bouncing off the walls by the time we finally decided to get moving - out of the house that is.  I finally freed the clutter beasts from Ethan's room and Geoff dug up the last of the "stairs" on the side of the house in the back yard.  A and H were pretty good considering but they were definitely ready to get out by 7:00pm. 

We aren't... wait, I'm not "a little bit country".  Geoff has been in the past so he owns a hat.  I worked in a country bar a couple of times and had a hat that I guess I eventually allowed the dust bunnies to run away with.  It really belonged to them anyway by then.  Now that I'm living in an area that lets its old west heritage loose once in a while, I feel like I need at least one outfit to show my western pride.  And why not? I have about eight different outfits for golf and I've only been once a year for the past two years.  However, golf outfits are super cute.  I digress.

So we headed out to the midway after asking repeatedly if the kids were hungry, knowing full well that they would be as soon as we arrived anyway.  For the second time in as many days, my good intentions to stick to my "diet" were out the window (not a real diet if you're just tuning in, just stuff I'm supposed to avoid in case I actually have acid reflux; read: anything at the fair grounds is probably fighting to be at the top of that list).  And Geoff was helpful as well in as many days, texting me "Bud or Heineken?" when he was out.  I chose Heineken.  Not that we felt like having one after returning home so that worked out - yesterday.

But back to the midway.  We arrived and were standing in line at the gate behind a bunch of teens who were probably looking forward to kicking it up for the night.  An extremely generous dude with an official-looking badge asked if we were just going to go to the midway.  We said yes and he let us in the side that doesn't have to pay.  Well Yahoo!  Off to a shining start!  We headed for the rides, passing a sign that said "Monster Truck Rides $8.00".  I drew Geoff's attention to it.  I'm not sure who wanted the ride more, him or the boys.  They all went. I headed back for mini-donuts. 

In this small Southern AB town, the rodeo itself is the highlight.  The midway is there for the very few individuals who aren't coming to see the rodeo so it's not especially big.  There were only two rides that Hunter didn't need an adult for. I got the lucky first take on an adult needed one; the Tilt-a-Whirl.  I used to love the rides. 

One year, when I was Miss. Hometown, my gf and I went to the Ponoka Stampede, paid for I believe by the mayor of my hometown and I think they even gave us a ride as well.  Anyhow, I still wasn't much for the rodeo then and my gf and I rode the rides.  It wasn't very busy that day and the guy at the Zipper told us we could stay on.  We must have ridden that thing for an hour straight.  I guess a Miss. Hometown sash does wonders for free rides.  Afterwards, we headed for the Spider.  That's when it hit me.  Too much movement.  I threw up before it stopped and I haven't been good on rides since.

Back to the present.  The Tilt-a-Whirl didn't look so bad.  By this time, I had eaten an entire bag of cotton candy, mini donuts, a hot dog, French fries with gravy and onion rings with gravy.  When Aaron and Hunter got to the gate, the ride master told me I had to go too.  "You're not going to make me pay for this are you?" I said to him as I passed him the TEN tickets for the boys to go on. I was really thinking about the possibility of my getting sick. It didn't seem right to be charged for that type of excitement.

You know how these guys aren't really the chatty sort unless you're some leggy teen in a tube top?  Well he muttered something and took my tickets and I headed into a "car" with the boys.  Aaron had just been on it with another kid who apparently wanted to go again also so we climbed in with him.

These things work better with more people.  I had forgotten that before we got on.  Anyhow, so off we went and when that thing spun I was like HOLY CRAP!!  My stomach just turned a little at the memory.  And again, when it's not that busy, they seem to allow you to ride for longer.  At one point I wondered if the ride master was tormenting me on purpose since I refused to pay as a chaperone.  I swear I've never seen those cars move like mine did.  I just kept praying that I wasn't going to hurl.

Finally the demonic ride master slowed the damn thing to a stop and we were able to get off.  The boys wanted to go again but I told them we had to wait for Geoff to return - there was no way I could have gone again without covering us in vomit.   Geoff returned and the boys asked for another shot at the Tilt-a-Whirl but he turned them towards the rides Hunter could go on without us.  Smarty pants. 

Aaron headed to the Ferris Wheel and lucked out with a camera shy blond girl for a companion.  As they were going up and up Geoff returned with Hunter and showed him where Aaron was.  They were pausing closer to the top at this point and Hunter says "I want him to come down. Now."

That was cute.  They all took another ride on the monster truck and I held back again.  Granted I'd never seen a monster truck ... anything, but riding in the back of one seems like a dumbass thing to do.  I watched though, you could tell the driver knew how to not make the thing flip over.  Still.  I bought another bag of mini-donuts. 

We figured that was good enough for the night.  We'd been there for three hours and managed to spend $160.  How that was even possible is beyond me.  Though, $40 for monster truck rides adds up.  The boys were happy, I hadn't puked, and we were fairly tired out.  Aaron and Hunter danced all the way home because they were high on sugar and fun times.  Geoff and I were absolutely finished.  There's a reason these things only come once a year; parents just can't handle themselves.