The "Problem Moms"

I have officially accepted a competition with another Mom - who will be the worst nightmare Mom of the school year?  By the way, I don't think either of us relish this claim, it just so happens that I tend to be one of them each year.  Little things like not getting my forms signed and writing notes instead - you just know the teachers are like "It's them - it's always them." 

So, my friend has already begun her year by purchasing the wrong items for the school supplies. I have yet to buy gym shoes.  In actuality I bought gym shoes but the kids loved them and decided to use them as their everyday shoes and that was when I discovered a) Ocean hated her other runners and b) Ethan didn't have any runners.  The kid has worn loafer-type shoes for regular footwear for so long I guess I forgot.  Oh wait, he had runners last year but I guess he doesn't like doing up laces. 

I doubt either of us plan to go out of our way to further complicate our relationships with our child's school but it will be those little things - which I refer to as severe cases of being a dumbass - that make our list for the year.  Stay tuned - I might even tell you her name - if she lets me :)


In other news, my kids went back to school today and it was pretty good - Hunter and I had a pajama day (after we drove their supplies to school and waited impatiently for the kids' bus to arrive).  All was grand until he handed me a water bottle; "This smells like pee" he said.  Um, ew, but I smelled it anyway because WHY would it smell like that? "Ugh" I said disgustedly "it does... why is that?" Hunter was looking at the TV "Because we..." he trailed off.  "Because why Hunter?"  He looked straight into my eyes and said "Because Ethan peed in it." What the devil??? I cannot even begin to describe how many times I said F. F, F, F, F, F, F-ity F.

I sat on this for awhile because it was just after lunch when Hunter informed me and the kids don't get home until after 3.  I had decided that Ocean must have done something so horrid to Ethan and he finally decided to fight back.  Sick, yes.  But he's a boy.  Still, it didn't seem like something Ethan would do.  Anyhow, I took Hunter's word and after school I began my inquisition.

Holding up the bottle, I asked Ethan if he had something to tell me about it.  He looked at it "No, what?  I brought it in already." Well that wasn't true but I stood there.  Ethan didn't crack a grin.  Enter Aaron.  I looked at him, I held the bottle "Aaron?" He cracked right up. "What? Because there was pee in it?" OMG! I mean, I knew somebody had done it but still, to have someone admit it - I went off on sanitary usage (and disposal) of that - and I tried to figure out where he possibly could have gotten the idea.

One possibility? Movies.  One in particular that I love because it's so freaking well done slap stick and I cannot help but laugh and laugh at that scene where the cop takes a big swig from a bottle of what he assumes is beer... Dumb and Dumber. And yes, I have let my children watch this movie.  We watched it last weekend.  I hate myself sometimes.  (Thinking of renaming the Mom Evolution to And the Winner of the Worst Mom of the Year IS...)