The Non-nomination For Mother of the Year Award

Yes, I am one of those Moms who hopes I do lots more right than wrong and that my kids do not end up being useless twits.  Today, that's the least of my worries because I, in one of my most un-intellectually stimulated moments to date, showed Hunter how to use a lighter.  Not down and out "put your finger here and do this" showed him, but he asked what it was and I told him it was a lighter.  He stared at me.  I said, "It makes fire." He stared at me.  I lit it.  His response? "Woah!! Can I try?!" And I was like "I am the biggest dumbass ever."

Now really, this is not the first time he's ever seen a lighter.  Nor is it the first time he's ever asked (Dad) to "make it fire".  However, this is the first time I've seen this response from him and I can't help but wonder when he's going to inadvertently burn our house down - because that's the other thing I saw light up in his eyes...

Okay, so that probably won't happen because we're fairly smart about not leaving lighters and matches around for the kids to play with.  Having almost burned my own house down at the tender age of five, I am well aware of what happens when you leave that stuff out.  I also keenly remember the ass-whooping I got when my own Mom discovered the lit candle under my bed and all the burn marks in the quilt since we'd been playing with it for a bit by the time we were busted.

The Mom Evolution - Appears I jumped the gun on stage 5

After that I was trying to get supper preparations finished, early, so we could go swimming for a bit this afternoon.  Suddenly there was screaming and the ever-anticipated sound "thump, thump, thump", followed by more screaming and crying.  Well Ethan's hands were tied and Aaron proceeded to pull Ethan down the stairs.  "How were you tied up?" I asked after everyone was calm. "Ocean did it!" Enter Ocean "Ethan tied my hands up and then he was like 'Okay! My turn' so I tied his hands!" I'm about to call Aaron out but he's prepped "Ethan threw a shoe at me!" While Hunter interjected here and there with "No, it was Aaron/Ethan/Ocean!"

Have I ever mentioned what the penalty is for pissing me off?  I make them play together.  A sit-down game at the kitchen table until they're nice to each other again.  So now we have to wait for that to finish so we can go swimming.  Well, at least my dinner is mostly prepped and I don't have much else to do other than hang out with Hunter.  Who just came in after that whole mess was sorted and said "So, Mom, what are you doin?" No worries, Hunter, I'm not doing anything that doesn't directly involve you.  Cheers Y'all.