Sunday, 28 July 2013

No Mom, I Want to Stay at Grandma's!

Geoff and I attended another wedding celebration this weekend and Grandma, Geoff's mom, had the kids (my parents are the Nanas).  If you have a small child/children then you know how it is.  When you want to go have some adult time, your first call is to the people who love your children as much as you do - the grandparents.  Not only can you be fully assured that your children will be completely taken care of, safe and happy, but their rates cannot be beat.  It is an all-around win.

This morning, when I made my way upstairs to enjoy a wonderful pancake breakfast (another top notch benefit of being at Grandma's) I met Hunter first and offered him a smile and a "good morning".  The reply was enthusiastic, but not especially welcoming; "No Mom, I want to stay at Grandma's!" Seems the mere sight of me (but not Geoff, who was sitting right there) brought the realization that we would have to leave Grandma's house today.  Well happy to see you too little man!

I sat down at the table and dished my plate.  Eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, pancakes and, oh so thankfully, coffee.  Aaron poked his head around the corner and then pulled back again.  "Good morning Aaron" I tried with the next one.  "I'm waiting for Grandma" came his reply.  Oh for two I thought as I dug into my now comfort food/stress reduction breakfast. I did get my hug afterwards, but it was the initial reaction that got me. It must be said here that this delay in the morning hug only comes from these two - Ocean and Ethan greet me with a morning hug no matter where we are, first thing in the morning.  I have taken the following to heart, thanks to my sister, Errin.

I was talking with Errin one day about the difference between the first two, who only really had me for the first two to three years of their lives, and the second two who, due to geographic differences, had access to extended family from birth. Errin was telling me that the best way to bond with animals (that's her only experience yet) is to get only one at a time so they have only one "master".  Yes, I'm about to relate this to kids.

Not having been the only person in the lives of the last two, I have had difficulty adjusting to the fact that they have other people to go to.  Yeah, it basically sucks.  Even tonight, when Hunter was having his bath, he called me but Geoff followed and poked his head in the door as well. "Are you ready to get out?" I asked Hunter.  He sat there with his head down. Geoff walked away and Hunter looked up again "I just want Dad" he says.  Fine.  I turned around and told Geoff to come back and went back to my book. To me, this isn't normal - because my first two always want me!

Sure I think it's great that Aaron and Hunter have an absolute connection to Grandma and their Dad. I love how they're super excited when Dad gets home.  I love how their faces light up when we say we're heading to Grandma's house.  I love the fact that Geoff and I can have a night out and the kids could not care less that we're gone (read: no tantrums, no crying = no guilt). But I'd love it if they were more thrilled when we got back. 

And yes, I understand that there are marked differences with being at Grandma's house and being home.  They absolutely get their way a whole more with Grandma, and Grandma always has the most fantastic treats on hand.  That's what Grandmas are supposed to do.  Being a little Nana's girl myself, I remember it well.  I just had it so good with Ocean and Ethan minus the fact that I didn't take my first adult only vacation away from them until they were 8 and 7... and the fact that they all love to see Grandma is a great thing.  I just want my morning hugs.  Without complaint. But Aaron just came in and said "Mom, I want to learn how to pick a lock" so I've got other things to attend to now.

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